[AUDIENCE CHATTER]
[LIGHT LAUGHTER]
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING LIVELY BIG BAND MUSIC]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING FLOURISH]
-[SONG ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[HOPEFUL MUSIC PLAYING, MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG ]
WAITRESS: ♪ Yesterday is done ♪
♪ See the pretty countryside ♪
JEROME: ♪ Merrily we roll along Roll along ♪
♪ Bursting with dreams ♪
KT: ♪ Traveling's the fun ♪
BUNKER: ♪ Flashing by the countryside ♪
MEG: ♪ Everybody merrily ♪
BUNKER: ♪ Merrily ♪
GROUP I: ♪ Catching at dreams ♪
♪ Rolling along ♪
♪ Dreams don't die ♪
♪ So keep an eye on your dream ♪
GROUP II: ♪ And before you know where you are, there you are ♪
GROUP I: ♪ Time goes by and hopes go dry ♪
♪ But you still can try for your dream ♪
MEG: ♪ Tend your dream ♪
GROUP II: ♪ How does it happen? ♪
TYLER: ♪ Dreams take time ♪
GROUP II: ♪ Once it was all so clear ♪
BUNKER: ♪ Time goes by ♪
GROUP II: ♪ How can you get So far off the track? ♪
♪ Why don't you turn around and go back? ♪
MEG: ♪ Bend your dream ♪
GROUP II: ♪ How does it happen? ♪
- ♪ Where is the moment? ♪ - GROUP I: ♪ With the road ♪
GROUP II: ♪ How can you miss it? Isn't it clear? ♪
♪ How can you let it slip out of gear? ♪
ALL: ♪ How did you ever get there from here? ♪
GROUP I: ♪ You roll ♪ GROUP II: ♪ How does it happen? ♪
- ♪ How does it happen? ♪ - GROUP I: ♪ You just roll ♪
GROUP II AND GROUP III: ♪ Once it was all so clear ♪
GROUP I: ♪ Everybody roll ♪
GROUP II: ♪ How does it start to go? ♪
GROUP II AND GROUP III: ♪ Does it slip away slow ♪
ALL: ♪ So you never even notice It's happening? ♪
♪ How did you get to be here? ♪
ALL: ♪ What was the moment? ♪
♪ How did you get to be here? ♪
CHARLEY AND MARY: ♪ Pick yourself a road ♪
♪ Get to know the countryside ♪
♪ Soon enough, you're merrily ♪
ALL: ♪ Merrily practicing dreams ♪
♪ Dreams that will explode ♪
♪ Waking up the countryside ♪
♪ Making you feel merrily, merrily ♪
♪ What can go wrong? ♪
- ♪ Rolling along ♪ - GROUP II: ♪ Some roads are soft ♪
♪ And some are bumpy ♪
♪ Some roads you really fly ♪
♪ Some rides are rough And leave you jumpy ♪
♪ Why make it tough by getting grumpy? ♪
♪ Plenty of roads to try ♪
- ♪ Some roads are soft ♪ - GROUP I: ♪ One trip ♪
GROUP II: ♪ And some are bumpy ♪ GROUP I: ♪ All you get ♪
- ♪ Some roads you really fly ♪ - GROUP I: ♪ Is one quick ride ♪
♪ Look around a bit ♪
GROUP II: ♪ Some rides are rough ♪ GROUP I: ♪ One quick ride ♪
GROUP II: ♪ And leave you jumpy ♪
-♪ Why make it tough ♪ -GROUP I: ♪ Through the countryside ♪
GROUP II: ♪ By getting grumpy? ♪ GROUP I: ♪ Stay on the track ♪
♪ Plenty of roads to try ♪
- ♪ Never look back ♪ - ♪ Some roads you really fly ♪
ALL: ♪ Never look back Never look back ♪
♪ Never look back ♪
♪ Never look back, never look ♪
[BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ How did you get to be here? ♪
♪ What was the moment? ♪
♪ How did you get to be here? ♪
♪ Bending with the road ♪
♪ Gliding through the countryside ♪
♪ Merrily we roll along, roll along ♪
♪ Catching at dreams ♪
♪ Dreams that will explode ♪
♪ Waking up the countryside ♪
♪ Everybody merrily, merrily ♪
♪ Sing 'em your song ♪
♪ Rolling along ♪
- ♪ Rolling along ♪ - ♪ Rolling a... ♪
-[WHOOPS] -[LAUGHTER]
[ THAT FRANK PLAYING]
Hey.
[LIVELY CHATTER]
♪ I said, "Frank, this picture Is a watershed" ♪
Hey, let me tell you about my new...
♪ I said, "Frank, one day You'll run my studio" ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER]
♪ I said, "Frank, will you Listen to that response?" ♪
♪ I said, "Frank really knows What the public wants" ♪
♪ I said, "Frank, this picture Is a watershed" ♪
-Know what I'm having? -What?
Not much fun.
-Party! -Oh, my God, look at him.
GROUP I: ♪ That Frank ♪
♪ That guy is too much ♪
Hey, the party's outside.
♪ That Frank ♪
Do you like the picture?
♪ The platinum touch ♪
How about more champagne?
♪ He has taste, he has talent ♪
♪ Is he the best? ♪
♪ Plus, a fine head for business ♪
- ♪ The man is blessed ♪ - ♪ That Frank ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER]
I wrote the screenplay for Frank's movie.
Your secret's safe with me.
MEG: Frank.
FRANK: Oh, Tyler, I want you to meet Meg,
the star of my movie.
My old friend Tyler here is the man who invented
the telephone answering machine.
And people are living in fear I'll invent something else.
GROUP I: ♪ That Frank ♪
♪ So, what do you do? ♪
GROUP I: ♪ He's full of advice ♪
I drink.
♪ That Frank ♪
No, what do you really do?
ALL: ♪ And, God, is he nice ♪
I really drink.
♪ What a friend, what a host ♪
♪ And his work is great ♪
♪ Has a wife who is gorgeous ♪
♪ A son who's straight ♪
♪ He's a type You can easily learn to hate ♪
♪ That Frank ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER]
♪ Who says, "Lonely at the top"? ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER]
♪ I say, "Let it never stop" ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER]
♪ It's our time coming through ♪
♪ All our dreams coming true ♪
♪ Working hard, getting rich ♪
-[LAUGHS] - ♪ Being happy ♪
- ♪ There's a switch ♪ - ♪ That smile ♪
BUNKER: Don't you miss writing music?
♪ He's hot, but he's cool ♪
That was the old Frank Shepard.
♪ What style ♪
This guy's the American dream.
♪ And what a great pool ♪
♪ If you had no idea What "charisma" meant ♪
♪ And you just can't be jealous He's such a gent ♪
♪ He's the kind of a man ♪
- ♪ That you can't resist ♪ - ♪ That Frank ♪
-Franklin. -Meg, this is Mary Flynn.
Mary is my deepest, closest, best friend in all the world.
Congratulations on the movie.
Your performance will stay with me for a long time.
We go way back.
But seldom forward.
Actually, Franklin gave me the novel you wrote,
and I read it over and over.
Well, didn't you get it the first time?
Hey, gang, we've got dancing outside!
Come on!
♪ I said, "Frank, you're coming down to Mexico" ♪
Honestly...
♪ I think Frank is moving Back to Paramount ♪
What?
♪ These are the movers These are the shapers ♪
♪ These are the people ♪
- ♪ Who fill the papers ♪ -GROUP I: ♪ Mexico ♪
MARY: ♪ These are the friends of Frank ♪
- ♪ Moving back to Paramount ♪ - ♪ Each one a perfect blank ♪
♪ When you see a movie that's successful ♪
♪ What can you say? ♪
-Congratulations! -Thank you.
MARY: ♪ These are the movers These are the shapers ♪
♪ These are the people Who give you vapors ♪
♪ 20 years ago, who'd have guessed? ♪
♪ Who'd have guessed We'd be standing here? ♪
♪ God, we would have been so impressed ♪
♪ Now we're here with the most ♪
GROUP I: ♪ Mexico ♪
♪ Brilliant minds on the coast ♪
GROUP II: ♪ Moving back to Paramount ♪
♪ And notice who is their host ♪
-GROUP: ♪ Mexico ♪ - ♪ Beautiful, Frank ♪
♪ Acapulco, Mexico ♪
♪ Beautiful, Frank ♪
♪ When you've made a movie That's successful ♪
♪ Where do you go? ♪
Paramount!
No!
Here's to us.
Who's like us?
-Damn few. -Damn few.
Thanks, pal, for flying out.
[CHUCKLES] Thanks, pal, for the ticket.
[FRANK CHUCKLES]
I got a letter from Frankie.
Well, at least my son writes to you.
Yeah, to thank me for coming to his graduation.
-He didn't invite me. -He didn't invite me either.
-How is he anyway? -[SCOFFS]
I mean, he asked the same thing about you.
-Frank, look, why don't the two of you... -KT: Frank!
-...finally get on... -I am beginning my broadcast.
Where Franklin Shepard goes, I go,
because that is where the A-list goes.
[FRANK AND KT CHUCKLE]
I just figured out what the "A" stands for.
Now, I heard a reliable rumor
that you're selling the Malibu house.
You don't want it. The place doesn't even have a pool.
No pool?
[LAUGHS]
In my rat's hole in New York, the john is terminally busted,
and the kitchen should be condemned.
But no pool?
Trash it!
Let's have some coffee, Mary.
GROUP II: ♪ Poor Frank ♪
I never drink coffee.
♪ He handled that well ♪
Caffeine isn't good for you.
♪ That Frank ♪
Look, I'm aware this was just a formula movie.
♪ He's loyal as hell ♪
But my next picture, you wait.
I gave up waiting.
♪ He's polite and considerate Rain or shine ♪
♪ It began when I tasted Communion wine ♪
♪ That Frank ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER]
♪ Who says, "Mustn't go too far"? ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER]
♪ I say, "Look at where we are" ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER]
♪ It's our time coming through ♪
♪ I say, "Good, me and you" ♪
♪ I say, "Roll," I say, "Ride" ♪
♪ I say, "Hey, there's food outside" ♪
GROUP II: ♪ That Frank ♪
Frank's movie was fun.
GROUP II: You'd think he'd relax
Frank knows what the public wants.
♪ Not Frank ♪
And Frank made a star!
♪ He's laying new tracks ♪
I love a movie movie!
♪ If you had no idea What "charisma" meant ♪
♪ And you just can't be jealous He's such a gent ♪
♪ He's the kind of a man Who could be president ♪
- ♪ That Frank ♪ -[IMPERCEPTIBLE]
♪ That Frank ♪
[LIVELY CHATTER]
♪ That Frank ♪
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Frank.
Tonight I saw a falling star.
I was running across the lawn,
and then right there in front of me, I see...
And what do we see in front of us?
-A rising star. -[CHUCKLES] Oh.
Because no matter what the critics say
about this picture, they are certain to love you.
They're certain to, no matter what they say about the picture.
The plot thins.
Meg, you know my wife Gussie.
Everybody who's been to a Broadway show
knows Gussie Carnegie.
The hem of your garment.
I say, by tomorrow,
all of that will be at your feet.
-Oh. -[CHUCKLES]
Scotty, that's the Valley.
Have you been outside all this time?
It's customary when you give a party to attend it.
Did you sing?
No one asked.
MEG: Franklin. FRANK: Later.
You're ignoring me.
Yes, I am.
-I've got feelings. -And I've got a wife.
I love you so much.
And I love you, too.
[TYLER CLEARS THROAT]
Anyway, I'm off. Tomorrow I fly to New York.
While you're there,
do not miss the new Charles Kringas play.
That is the only show in years
that actually deserves its Pulitzer Prize. [CHUCKLES]
I say, in every generation, there's one playwright.
Oh, my God, what did I say?
[CHUCKLES] Don't you know that in this joint,
you must never, ever mention the name Charles Kringas?
-Mary, for God's sake. -MARY: Yeah, see,
Charley, Frank and I were once
these devoted, inseparable friends.
GUSSIE: Would anyone care to come outside?
Up until that famous television interview
where Charley, in front of the whole nation...
-Mary, enough! -Mary, I've warned you.
Hey, the house numbers are in from the East Coast.
And it went through the roof.
[CHEERING, EXCITED CHATTER]
"The surprise of Darkness Before Dawn
"is Meg Kincaid, a starry-eyed find."
TYLER: To Franklin Shepard,
who I've known ever since we started out together
back in a crummy little Greenwich Village saloon.
JEROME: To Frank Shepard,
congratulations to the client every lawyer dreams of:
Forty years old, a hit in New York,
-now a hit in Hollywood... -[GROUP WHOOPS]
-...married to this Broadway legend... -Oh, stop.
...surrounded by the people who work for him, by his money...
-[LAUGHTER, LIVELY CHATTER] -[LOUD CLANKING]
[CHATTER STOPS]
Are we making speeches?
To Franklin Shepard...
[MOCKINGLY] ...the producer,
the man who has everything.
[CHUCKLES]
And... [CHUCKLES]
fat, drunk and finished...
I would rather be me any day.
Well, look at the time. I've got to go to bed.
He'll wait. Hoo-hoo-hoo, call him.
-GUSSIE: Get out of here, drunk. -Gussie.
GUSSIE: Get that fat sot out of here.
FRANK: Mary, may I take your glass?
No, you may not take my glass.
-Frank. -Oh, my God.
GUSSIE: Frank!
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHING]
MARY: Well...
now I won't be invited back.
Well, please don't all feel you have to leave
just because I'm leaving.
[GROUP CHATTERING]
First, attention.
[CHATTER CONTINUES]
-I said "attention"! -[CHATTER STOPS]
Are you all listening? Because I have something I must say.
You are all junk.
[SOFTLY] And you...
[SNIFFLES]
You deserve them.
[MARY SNIFFLES]
Damn sad.
TERRY: Isn't she somebody? DORY: No, she's a critic.
JEROME: She wrote a bestseller once.
I would never have believed it.
She's finally out of Frank's life.
Yeah, and the loss is unbearable.
MEG: [WINCES] Ow. DORY: What happened?
SCOTTY: Ooh, she cut her hand on a piece of glass.
MEG: Oh, no, no. It's nothing. Please, no.
No, Meg's cut her hand rather badly.
-No, honestly, it's nothing. -Ru, go get something.
-Get some iodine. -Oh, see. [CLEARS THROAT]
When you're young and the star,
how the slightest thing and you're everybody's focus.
[CHUCKLES]
Bitch.
It's stopping. I'm just going to let it air out.
You two sure know how to bring down a curtain.
I've got the iodine. Where's the patient?
Down at the foot of the lawn.
-Doing her fawn imitation. -RU: Mr. Shepard.
Frank.
Before I go, I just want to know:
How do I get to be you?
[FRANK CHUCKLES]
The worst vice in the world is advice,
so I don't give any.
Hey.
Don't just write what you know.
Write what you know.
Now get out of here.
GUSSIE: "The worst vice is advice"?
Did you get that off a T-shirt, Frank?
I'm sorry. What's wrong?
You and that little punchboard are what's wrong.
Please, please don't do this.
We've got a party going on out there.
You may have betrayed me,
but you are not going to humiliate me.
Gussie, when are you gonna let it go?
I never said you were too old for the part.
The studio said you were too old for the part.
To think I divorced a husband who worshipped
the ground I walked on
to marry a pitiful excuse for a man like you.
I've made only one mistake in my life,
but I've made it over and over and over.
That was saying yes when I meant no.
-Forgive me. -Don't you dare...
All right, you want to know if it's true? It's true.
But what you would never understand is she's sensitive.
She cares. She's an inspiration.
She's the raft that keeps me from drowning.
Pathetic.
After all these years,
I finally have to hand it to Charley Kringas.
That driven little runt
was always the one smart enough to read your label.
And I envy Charley Kringas every day of my life.
[LAUGHS] Hilarious.
This coming from a man whose work isn't remembered
by the time audiences reach the parking lot!
I swear, if I could go back to the beginning,
if I could somehow be starting over with Charley,
writing shows, trying to change the world,
I would give all this up like that.
GUSSIE: Oh, you've lied to yourself so long,
you probably believe that.
Do you really not see that I'm ashamed of all this?
That I'm as sick of myself as you are?
I'm just acting like it all matters
so people can't see how much I hate my life
and how much I wish the whole goddamn thing was over.
I found her running along the lawn, singing.
-Ah, sorry. Here. -Now, stand still and let me put
-some iodine on that hand. -Okay.
My significant other and I want to say good night.
GUSSIE: Meg!
My husband was just telling me
that you're the starry-eyed slut
-that keeps him from drowning. -Gussie, stop it!
GUSSIE: Oh, absolutely, Frank. I will stop it.
But maybe she won't be so starry-eyed now.
-[MEG SCREAMING] -[FRANTIC CHATTER]
GUSSIE: He was sleeping with her, Dory!
You said we were finished, Frank!
Well, now we're finished!
[DISTANTLY] You and her and me and every goddamn thing
is finished!
[BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING, FIRST TRANSITION ]
SCOTTY: ♪ How did you get to be here? ♪
GROUP: ♪ What was the moment? ♪
♪ How did you get to be here? ♪
BUNKER: ♪ Dreams don't die So keep an eye on your dream ♪
GROUP: ♪ Or before you know Where you are, there you are ♪
♪ Roads may wind ♪
♪ And you may find What you've left behind ♪
- ♪ Is your dream ♪ - ♪ Dream ♪
- ♪ Tend your dream ♪ - ♪ How does it happen? ♪
- ♪ Dreams take time ♪ - GROUP II: ♪ Once it was all so clear ♪
♪ Time goes by ♪
♪ How can you get so far off the track? ♪
♪ Why don't you turn around and go back? ♪
- TERRY: ♪ Bend your dream ♪ - ♪ How does it happen? ♪
- ♪ Where is the moment? ♪ - ♪ With the road ♪
♪ When did the road behind disappear? ♪
♪ Where did you let things Slip out of gear? ♪
GROUP: ♪ How did you ever get to be here? ♪
- ♪ 1975 ♪ - ♪ 1974 ♪
♪ 1973 ♪
[SONG ENDS]
[ GOOD THING GOING (GOING GONE) BY FRANK SINATRA PLAYS]
And that is Frank Sinatra singing Good Thing Going
from the Broadway and film hit Musical Husbands.
The composers of that show,
Franklin Shepard and Charles Kringas,
are in our studio tonight,
and we will be meeting and talking with them.
But first, the news.
Hal?
[DRAMATIC NEWS THEME PLAYING]
The lead-in story from tonight's edition
of "News from New York."
Today our nation is at long last
celebrating a ceasefire in Vietnam,
the tragic death toll there now having cost
nearly 46,000 American lives.
Judy?
On the local front, Mayor Abe Beame...
MAKEUP ARTIST: Well, Mr. Kringas, what do you think?
I think my worst nightmare has come true.
-I look like Richard Nixon. -Charley.
-MARY: Oh, Charley! -No, Mary.
-No, do not speak to me. -Oh!
This whole goddamn thing is your fault.
I don't know why, in Christ's name,
I let you talk me into this humiliation.
Here is the drink you ordered, Miss Flynn.
-Ooh. -Oh, Mary, how thoughtful.
Oh, come on, Charley. I need a drink.
Yeah, one drink. What would you like?
A bottle of vodka and a straw.
-Where's Frank? -Frank?
Probably off signing to score another movie
or closing a record deal.
I can only tell you where Frank never is,
and that is with me, working on our show.
All right, well, when I called KT to set up this interview,
I made it very clear
that the only thing you two were here to talk about...
[EXCLAIMS]
was your next show and how long you both been working on it.
Oh, Mary, since Frank married Gussie,
the only working he knows is working the room.
And just where did he learn that, Charley?
Off on that goddamn yacht is where.
And, wait, who was it who sent him off on that goddamn yacht?
-I say to hell with Frank. -Ugh.
Look, I have started a play all on my own.
And if Frank doesn't show up in the next 30 seconds,
me, I am walking right out that door.
Look, Charley, I know Frank.
If you connect with him again,
if you commit the guy today, publicly,
I swear, by tomorrow, you two are gonna be
back together working again.
You got to help save him, Charley.
-[OLD FRIENDS (PART 1) PLAYS] -♪ Hey, old friend ♪
♪ What do you say, old friend? ♪
- ♪ Make it okay, old friend ♪ -[JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Give the old friendship a break ♪
♪ Why so grim? ♪
♪ We're going on forever ♪
♪ You, me, him ♪
♪ Too many lives are at stake ♪
♪ Friends this long ♪
♪ Has to mean something strong ♪
♪ So, if our old friend's wrong ♪
♪ Shouldn't an old friend come through? ♪
♪ It's us, old friend ♪
♪ What's to discuss ♪
♪ Old... [GRUNTS] ...friend? ♪
♪ Here's to us ♪
♪ Who's like us? ♪
♪ Damn few ♪
[MARY CHUCKLES]
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING, LIKE IT WAS ]
♪ Charley ♪
♪ Why can't it be like it was? ♪
♪ I liked it the way that it was ♪
♪ Charley, you and me ♪
♪ We were nicer then ♪
♪ We were nice ♪
♪ Kids and cities and trees were nice ♪
♪ Everything ♪
♪ I don't know who we are any more ♪
♪ And I'm starting not to care ♪
♪ Look at us, Charley ♪
♪ Nothing's the way that it was ♪
♪ I want it the way that it was ♪
♪ Help me stop remembering then ♪
♪ Don't you remember? ♪
♪ It was good ♪
♪ It was really good ♪
♪ Help me out, Charley ♪
♪ Make it like it was ♪
Come on. Ugh.
Look, we both know it was better, Charley,
the three of us.
And you, come on. Mary, we are not the three of us anymore.
Now we are one and one and one.
♪ Charley ♪
♪ Nothing's the way that it was ♪
♪ I want it the way that it was ♪
♪ God knows, things were easier then ♪
♪ Trouble is, Charley ♪
♪ That's what everyone does ♪
♪ Blames the way it is ♪
♪ On the way it was ♪
♪ On the way it never ♪
♪ Ever ♪
♪ Was ♪
Jesus, Mary.
After all these years, you're still in love with the guy?
[CHUCKLING]
[VOICE BREAKING] You got to help save me, then, Charley.
KT: Charley, Frank, we are on the commercial break,
and then it's us. Follow me.
-Frank isn't here. -He isn't here?
Where the hell is Frank?
Frank is here, and Frank is sorry.
But ever since Gussie and I got married,
life is this series of meetings, meetings, meetings.
-Hey, pal! -Hey, pal. Long time no see.
FRANK: Oh, and I missed you, buddy.
-Mm. -And, Mary...
[CHUCKLES] Oh, God, Mary, you look wonderful.
Lost a little weight?
A hundred and eighty pounds.
He still calls, though.
[FINGERS SNAP]
Please, Frank.
Frank, in the chair. Charley, you come with me.
GUSSIE: KT, I think...
I think I saw my ex-husband hovering around outside.
Could you see to it that nobody's allowed in?
He's become the eternal sponge.
-Got it. Charley, move, please. -Thank you.
-We got to go! -Excuse me.
Mrs. Shepard, I know this is inappropriate,
but I wrote a film script, Darkness Before Dawn,
that is so perfect for you.
It is inappropriate.
Give it to me.
I have accepted that if I don't want people
handing me scripts, then I can never go out.
Frank, did you tell Mary about closing the three-picture deal?
Uh, no.
But please let me be the one to tell Charley.
I am waiting to choose the exact moment.
Oh, God.
I've explained to Frank:
You compose a Broadway show, you're something in New York,
but you produce a movie,
you're something all over the world.
Frank, we're up! We got to move.
Oh.
Gussie.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Hiya, Gus.
-Oh, Joe. -JOE: You look great.
[CHUCKLES] You've caught me in the middle, Joe.
Yeah, I was hoping, I was, I was... [CHUCKLES]
I was hoping...
I was hoping maybe you could spare me 100 or so.
GUSSIE: Joe. Joe, I...
God.
You can't keep doing this to me, Joe.
Now, this...
this is the last time.
I'm lining up backers for my next play.
Oh.
Excuse me, Joe.
-They're waiting for me. -Yep.
[SIGHS]
GUSSIE: I'm sorry.
[NEWS THEME PLAYING]
And now our evening's top news story.
Today the Supreme Court made its final ruling
legalizing abortion.
The court stated abortion should be a decision
between a woman and her physician.
A longtime controversy now ended.
Judy?
[FRANK SINATRA SINGING IN BACKGROUND]
For those who have tuned in late,
we are hearing Frank Sinatra singing the hit song
by Franklin Shepard and Charles Kringas,
our next guests live from New York.
Oh, and, Frank, I cannot thank you enough for this favor.
"Favor"? After what you did for me during my divorce?
That's why we're here.
-Oh, and how's your son? -Want to see a picture?
No, but do that on air, and I'll coo, and I'll tear,
and I'll carry on like a mad thing.
-[CHUCKLES] -People love cheap sentiment.
And I understand congratulations are in order.
I hear you just signed a three-picture deal
to produce movies.
-Where'd you hear that? -KT: Now, don't worry.
I understand I'm not supposed to bring it up on the air.
I think you weren't supposed to bring it up in front of me.
Oh? Oh.
Charley, I was waiting for the exact moment to tell you.
But, see, it doesn't change our plan.
It's only two or three months at a time.
Frank, it is always two or three months at a time.
I haven't even signed the contract yet.
Do you know how long I have sat
and waited for you to finish this project?
Hold it for one second, guys, will you? We're just about on.
Charley, I have a son to support.
I have an ex-wife draining me.
What happens if we finish this show, we get it on,
and they say it's no good?
Frank, I have four kids to support.
I don't give a rat's ass what they say.
If I say it's good, if you say it's good...
-[BELL RINGS] -Okay, fellas, we're just about to start.
He only knows it's good if it makes a fucking fortune.
Hi! We're back.
And welcome to "Today in New York's Celebrity Spot."
Here next to me, we have two brilliantly talented people.
The gentleman on my right is...
Oh, uh, Franklin Shepard.
-I almost forgot. -[CHUCKLES] And?
And he is. Why would he lie?
And I have no idea who I am.
This is my great friend and even greater collaborator,
Charley Kringas.
They are the songwriters for Musical Husbands,
both the show and the movie.
They also wrote Sweet Sorrow.
And their newest collaboration will be called Take a Left.
But more about that later.
Apparently much later.
And you recently married the star of those shows,
Gussie Carnegie.
-Did you not? -Yes, that's correct.
And I'm married to Evelyn.
Now, all of Broadway says
that you two are the next Rodgers and Hammerstein,
Lerner and Loewe.
-Irving and Berlin. -[CHUCKLING]
Let's start at the beginning.
You're both from Chicago.
You both went to the same school and the same college?
Uh, nope. Me, Columbia. Him, Juilliard.
So, your entire lives you've been very, very close friends.
Until today.
FRANK: Like all partners,
we have had fights and other commitments,
but the magic is only there when it's me and Charley.
Charley and me.
I love it.
Now, how do you two work together?
Oh. May I answer that?
Please.
How do we work together?
Sure.
Well, he goes...
[LIGHT PIANO RIFF PLAYS]
And I go...
[TYPEWRITER CLICKING MUSICALLY]
-♪ And soon we're ♪ -[ FRANKLIN SHEPARD, INC. PLAYING]
- ♪ Humming along ♪ -[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Hmm-mm-hmm ♪
♪ And that's called writing a song ♪
♪ Hmm-mm-hmm ♪
- ♪ Then he goes ♪ - [LIGHT PIANO RIFF PLAYS]
♪ And I go ♪
[TYPEWRITER CLICKING MUSICALLY]
♪ And the phone goes, "Drrrrring!" ♪
♪ And he goes, mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter ♪
♪ "Yes, Jerome," mutter, "No, Jerome" ♪
♪ Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter ♪
♪ That's his lawyer, Jerome ♪
♪ Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter "Do it, Jerome" ♪
Click, "Sorry, Charley"
[LIGHT PIANO RIFF PLAYS]
♪ So I go ♪
[TYPEWRITER CLICKING MUSICALLY]
♪ And he goes ♪
-[LIGHT PIANO RIFF PLAYS] -[SIGHS]
♪ And I go ♪
[TYPEWRITER CLICKING MUSICALLY]
♪ And soon we're tapping away ♪
♪ Hmm-mm-hmm ♪
♪ "Bzz!" "Sorry, Charley" "Bzz!" ♪
♪ It's the secretary, "Bzz!" ♪
♪ On the intercom, "Yes, Ms. Bzz" ♪
♪ "It's a messenger" ♪
♪ "Thanks, Ms. Bzz Will you tell him to wait? ♪
♪ "Will you order the car? Will you call up the bank? ♪
♪ "Will you wire the coast? Will you..."'Drrrrring!'" ♪
♪ "Sorry, Charley" Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter ♪
♪ "Sell the stock," mutter "Buy the rights" ♪
♪ Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter ♪
♪ "Bzz!" "Let me put you on hold" ♪
♪ "Bzz!" "Yes, Ms. Bzz" ♪
♪ "It's the interview" ♪
♪ "Thanks, Ms. Bzz Will you tell him to wait? ♪
♪ "Will you wire the car? Will you order the coast? ♪
♪ "Will you send up the bank?" ♪
♪ And the telephones blink And the stocks get sold ♪
♪ And the rest of us he keeps on hold ♪
♪ And he's into making movies ♪
♪ And he's now a corporation, right ♪
♪ So I play at home With my wife and kids ♪
♪ And I wait to hear the movie bids ♪
♪ And I've got a little sailboat ♪
♪ And I'm into meditation, right ♪
♪ He flies off to California ♪
♪ I discuss him with my shrink ♪
♪ That's the story of the way we work ♪
♪ Me and Franklin Shepard, Inc. ♪
-[MUSIC STOPS] -I am beginning to enjoy this.
I promise to be honest if you promise to handle the lawsuit.
Now, Frank, when you do work together,
I have always been curious,
which generally comes first, the words or the music?
-Generally, the contract. -Oh.
That sounds like you think making money
is a bad thing for an artist.
Sorry, money?
[LIGHT PIANO RIFF PLAYS]
Did I say "money"?
[ELECTRONIC RIFF PLAYS]
♪ No, I like ♪
♪ Money a lot, hmm-mm-hmm ♪
♪ I mean, it's better than not ♪
♪ Hmm-mm-hmm ♪
♪ But when it's ♪
[GRUNTING AGGRESSIVELY] Money. Money.
When you're into... [GRUNTING AGGRESSIVELY]
Money...
And you should be...
[LIGHT PIANO RIFF PLAYS]
Listen.
Frank does the money thing very well.
But you know what? Other people do it better.
Yeah, and Frank does the music thing very well.
And you know what?
No one does it better.
♪ Still, the telephones blink And the buzzers buzz ♪
♪ And I really don't know what he does ♪
♪ But he makes a ton of money And a lot of it for me ♪
♪ Right, so I think, "Okay" And I start a play ♪
♪ But he somehow knows, 'Cause right away ♪
♪ It's, "Drrrrring!" "Hiya, buddy ♪
♪ "Want to write a show? I got a great idea ♪
♪ "We'll own all the rights With a two-week out ♪
♪ "And a turnaround on the guarantee ♪
♪ "Plus a gross percent of the billing clause" ♪
♪ And there I am in California ♪
♪ Talking deals and turning pink ♪
♪ Back in business, and I mean just that ♪
♪ Back with Franklin Shepard, Inc. ♪
♪ Very sneaky how it happens ♪
♪ Much more sneaky than you think ♪
♪ You start with nothing but a song to sing ♪
♪ And next, you're Franklin Shepard... ♪
Wait a second, wait one second. I am getting in too deep here.
Franklin, let me ask you...
You see, Frank and I are not that kind of close.
-Not like we used to be. -Now, Frank...
And friendship is like a garden.
You have to water it and tend it and care about it.
And you know what? I miss it.
And I want it back.
-Look. -[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Nothing permanent has happened ♪
♪ It's just a temporary kink ♪
♪ Friendship's something You don't really lose ♪
Ladies and gentlemen, don't let me lose
the greatest composer any lyricist has ever had.
Phone him. Write him.
Stop him on the street. You will recognize him.
He's the one going through his checkbook.
And tell that man to get back to his piano.
♪ Very sneaky how it happens ♪
♪ Every day, you're on the brink ♪
♪ First the prizes, then the interviews ♪
- ♪ Oh, my God ♪ -[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ I think it's happened ♪
♪ Stop me quick before I sink ♪
♪ One more triumph that I can't refuse ♪
In case you didn't notice,
this is my first time on TV and my last! No!
♪ Here's the point, whatever happens ♪
♪ Then we'll all go have a drink ♪
♪ That's the guy I love ♪
♪ The fella who's inside ♪
♪ Mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter ♪
♪ "Quick, Jerome, get the president ♪
♪ "There's a crazy man on my TV screen" ♪
♪ Inside ♪
♪ "Bzz, bzz!" "Drrrrring!" ♪
♪ Inside Franklin Shepard ♪
Just write him, care of Any Bank, USA.
Inc.
-[SONG ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Now let's take a commercial break.
Oh, thanks, guys.
Jesus Christ!
That was a real slaughter, Charley. Congratulations.
-Frank, I... -I think you said enough.
I know for years you've been attacking me
and constantly putting me in the position
of having to defend myself, but that...
See, I don't know why anyone would want to so humiliate
and betray the guy who is his oldest friend
in the world like that,
but I do know you're never gonna
have the opportunity to do it again.
You're goddamn out of my life, Charley.
No, Frank, I'm sorry. I...
You're sorry after you publicly mock
and ridicule and belittle me,
when, man, I swear I would lay down my life for you.
-I know. If you let me... -Shut up!
Charley, all these years, I've loved you
no matter what you did, but I guess because
I don't live my life like you or the way you'd like me to,
you had to shoot me down and watch me bleed.
Well, I like my life, Charley.
So you can just get the hell out of it!
Hey, guys, now, what do you say
the three of us, we just...
we go for a humongous drink
and we talk, okay?
-I mean, we need to talk. -GUSSIE: Oh, Frank.
-Frank, are you all right? -Frank, can we go talk?
You know, in some cultures, when someone does something cruel
or evil or betrays them, they never see him again.
They simply never see him.
They never talk to him or look at him
or acknowledge him in any way. For them, he is dead,
absolutely and irrevocably dead.
-Can I just explain... -Frank!
...what all that came out of?
[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING]
[BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING, SECOND TRANSITION ]
♪ Some roads are soft and some are bumpy ♪
♪ Some roads you really fly ♪
♪ Some rides are rough And leave you jumpy ♪
♪ Why make it tough by getting grumpy? ♪
♪ Plenty of roads to try ♪
- ♪ 1972 ♪ - MEG: ♪ 1971 ♪
- ♪ Some roads are soft ♪ - ♪ One trip ♪
- ♪ And some are bumpy ♪ - ♪ All you get ♪
- ♪ Some roads you really fly ♪ - ♪ Is one quick ride ♪
♪ Look around a bit ♪
- ♪ Some rides are rough ♪ - ♪ One quick ride ♪
♪ And leave you jumpy ♪
- ♪ Through the countryside ♪ - ♪ Why make it tough ♪
- ♪ By getting grumpy? ♪ - ♪ Stay on the track ♪
♪ Plenty of roads to try ♪
♪ 1970 ♪
♪ Some roads you really fly ♪
♪ 1969 ♪
♪ How does it start to go? ♪
♪ Does it slip away slow ♪
♪ So you never even notice It's happening? ♪
- ♪ 1968 ♪ -[SONG ENDS]
What? You say she's not there?
Well, do you know when she's expected back?
-[DOORBELL BUZZES] -It's open!
Sorry. You don't expect her back until when?
Until after the theater?
No, no message.
Wait, yes, actually. Will you tell her that Franklin...
Ta-da!
Frankie!
Oh, my God, Frankie! I don't believe my eyes!
Oh, did your daddy miss you!
And look how big you got, huh!
Daddy, we saw your boat, but we didn't see you.
-No? -MARY AND CHARLEY: Ta-da!
-FRANK: Wha...? -[LAUGHING]
What is really amazing is we're not all still waiting
-at that dock to surprise you. -[LAUGHING]
God, was our face red.
Well, first class doesn't get off at the dock!
We have this big ramp at the prow
and a captain who leads you right into your limousine.
Right, of course. Silly us.
Mary, you should have known that.
[FRANK GRUNTS EXCITEDLY]
He got Beth to send Frankie from Houston.
Daddy, I have 32 postcards all over my wall.
My favorite are the alligator and the Panama Canal.
[LAUGHING]
CHARLEY: Wow, look at that.
He brought Frankie an alligator back with him.
What a nice little...
Oh, God, Frankie! Frankie, you have to help me!
-Oh, God! -[LAUGHTER]
[SIGHS] Thanks, Uncle Charley.
That's bound to give someone here real nice dreams.
All right, start with the trip, and then I want a Sherpa guide
to show me this gargantuan apartment.
FRANKIE: Well, I owe it all to you guys for making me go.
I didn't do anything that wasn't rich.
Rich living, rich food, rich people.
Well, poor Evelyn, my poor wife, who never comes in
from our poor house in the poor country, poor thing,
is dropping off our four poor children with her poor mother.
Got it, Charley.
Where they are expecting Frankie.
And then Evelyn is meeting the three of us at...
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Where? Where?
-You're never gonna guess where. -[MOUTHING] Downtown Club.
-The Downtown Club. -Charley.
-[CHARLEY MUTTERS] -Now, let me think.
A smoky, dingy Greenwich Village dive
or the homecoming party at the Colony Club?
Hmm, what a choice.
Oh, Frank, I'm so sorry.
You must give us a list of what's in and what's out.
You know how important all of that is to me.
Ah! Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Presents.
I forgot... presents.
This is for Aunt Mary.
[GASPS] Ooh, thank you.
And this is for Uncle Charley.
MARY: [CHUCKLES] Well...
[FEET THUDDING]
Son, about 40 of yours are right now up in the air
between Gibraltar and Texas,
but trust me, they are absolutely worth the wait.
It's my book in Spanish.
I bought it in Valparaiso, Chile,
where there it was in all these store windows.
CHARLEY: Oh, Mary, tell Frank
the story of how success has affected you.
Okay, I'll start.
-Mary has joined the enemy. -[CHUCKLES]
-Charley. -Frankie, tell Aunt Mary,
how many kids in your class say,
"When I grow up, I want to be a drama critic"?
Oh, Charley, just shut your mouth and open your present.
I did.
What is it?
-What is it? -It's an option agreement.
We have been offered a small fortune
to do a movie version of Musical Husbands!
Oh, my God!
-That is unbelievable! [LAUGHS] -Frankie. Frankie, come here.
So, take this over to Daddy and say very clearly,
"There isn't enough money in the universe."
You're welcome, Charley. I appreciate the gratitude.
Thanks very much.
There isn't enough money in the universe.
MARY: [LAUGHS] Oh, boy.
Frankie, um, what do you say the two of us go,
and we'll explore this monster apartment?
FRANK JR.: I'm tired.
Well, of course you are, tiger. It's been a long day.
Yeah, you know, we can have a lie-down upstairs.
-Good night, Daddy. -[LAUGHS] Good night.
MARY: Aw. All right, come on.
Let's see what we can find you up there.
What do you think they have?
Charley, I'm 31 years old.
Beth wiped me out with the divorce.
I have a son to consider.
So forgive me, Charley, if I happen to need money.
So let's us do the work, and the money will come.
Frank, we cannot keep making our stuff
-the other thing we do. -Shh. Guys, not now.
Why do I have to be poor to write music?
Because once you're rich, you never will.
Charley, I am telling you,
we can make a statement with this movie.
Nurse, doctor, guard, attendant, matron,
-anybody else. -Trust me.
-You trust me. -Charley, listen!
Frank, you listen. You listening?
No. No, no, never, ever. No.
Hey!
[ OLD FRIENDS (PART 2) PLAYS]
♪ Here's to us ♪
♪ Who's like us? ♪
♪ Damn few ♪
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Hey, old friend ♪
♪ Are you okay, old friend? ♪
♪ What do you say, old friend? ♪
♪ Are we or are we unique? ♪
♪ Time goes by ♪
♪ Everything else keeps changing ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ We get continued next week ♪
♪ Most friends fade ♪
♪ Or they don't make the grade ♪
♪ New ones are quickly made ♪
♪ And in a pinch, sure, they'll do ♪
♪ But us, old friend ♪
♪ What's to discuss, old friend? ♪
♪ Here's to us ♪
♪ Who's like us? ♪
♪ Damn few ♪
[JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ So, old friend ♪
♪ Fill me in slow, old friend ♪
♪ Start from hello, old friend ♪
♪ I want the when, where and how ♪
♪ Old friends ♪
♪ Do tend to become old habit ♪
♪ Never knew ♪
♪ How much I missed you till now ♪
BOTH: ♪ Most friends fade Or they don't make the grade ♪
♪ New ones are quickly made ♪
♪ Some of them worth something, too ♪
ALL: ♪ But us, old friends ♪
♪ What's to discuss, old friends? ♪
- ♪ Tell you something ♪ -Huh.
♪ Good friends point out your lies ♪
♪ Whereas old friends live and let live ♪
♪ Good friends like and advise ♪
♪ Whereas old friends love and forgive ♪
FRANK: ♪ And old friends ♪
♪ Let you go your own way ♪
♪ Help you find your own way ♪
♪ Let you off when you're wrong ♪
- ♪ If you're wrong ♪ - ♪ When you're wrong ♪
♪ Right or wrong, The point is, old friends ♪
♪ Shouldn't care if you're wrong ♪
♪ Should but not for too long ♪
- ♪ What's too long? ♪ - ♪ If you're wrong ♪
- ♪ When you're wrong ♪ - ♪ The thing is, old friends ♪
♪ Do leave their brands on you ♪
♪ But old friends shouldn't compete ♪
♪ Old friends don't make demands on you ♪
♪ Should make demands on you ♪
♪ Well, don't make demands You can't meet ♪
♪ Well, what's the point Of demands you can meet? ♪
♪ Well, there's a time For demands whether you... ♪
-No, you are never wrong! -If you were right, I would
-be the first one to admit it! -[CLAMORING]
There is only your way and the wrong way!
[SCREAMS]
ALL: ♪ Hey, old friends ♪
♪ How do we stay old friends? ♪
♪ Who is to say, old friends ♪
♪ How an old friendship survives? ♪
♪ One day chums having a laugh a minute ♪
♪ One day comes ♪
♪ And they're a part of your lives ♪
♪ New friends pour Through the revolving door ♪
♪ Maybe there's one that's more ♪
Stop.
♪ If you find one that'll do ♪
♪ But us, old friends ♪
♪ What's to discuss, old friends? ♪
♪ Here's to us ♪
♪ Who's like us? ♪
♪ Two old friends ♪
♪ Fewer won't do, old friends ♪
♪ Got to have two old friends ♪
♪ Helping you balance along ♪
♪ One upbraids you For your faults and fancies ♪
♪ One persuades you ♪
♪ That the other one's wrong ♪
♪ Most friends fade ♪
♪ Or they don't make ♪
Shit.
♪ The grade New ones are quickly made ♪
♪ Perfect as long as they're new ♪
♪ But us, old friends ♪
♪ What's to discuss, old friends? ♪
♪ Here's to us ♪
- ♪ Who's like us? ♪ -[CLEARS THROAT]
-Ah, okay. -[ALL LAUGH]
Whoo!
[HARMONIZING] ♪ Damn few ♪
-[SONG ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Ah!
[EXCITED CHATTER]
Oh, anguish!
I hate it when I've missed everything.
The wife here, she misses nothing.
Well, I had no idea the gang would be dropping in.
My understudy's been going on for the last few weeks,
and Joe insisted, as a courtesy, I must see her.
But first, I insisted Joe must see Frank's new apartment.
Have you ever seen that disaster he was living in?
I decorated it.
I am calling the surgeon general tomorrow
to have him cut out my tongue!
Oh, ho, promises, promises.
Look, Joe, it's Charles.
[GASPS] Now we can call the night a success.
[CHUCKLES] Hey, Gussie.
Um, I didn't hear a doorbell.
Oh, I bet that's because I didn't ring one. [SCOFFS]
I never do
when I have keys.
I'm decorating this pad.
The price was right.
-Free. -[CHUCKLES]
Here, I picture all of the furniture in here,
the hues of anemones,
a chair...
a chair, a footstool...
and a sofa.
Oh, I should have a brain transplant.
I forgot we bought this teeny, tiny housewarming nothing,
some awesomely expensive champagne.
-[IMITATES CORK POPPING] -I'll open it.
"Do." All right, I will.
Ugh, I'm gonna go check outside.
Always good to see you, Joe.
And your wife.
Joe, precious, there are glasses in the kitchen,
and it's Frank's house, so he can do the honors.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
-Mushi-mushi, darling. -I... I... I...
-We have a curtain to make. -Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Home one day, and already she's ordering me around.
-GUSSIE: St-- -[LAUGHING]
How nice to see the old gang.
[CHUCKLES]
Can they see us?
FRANK: Yes.
GUSSIE: I didn't even unpack.
I've made up my mind. I'm leaving Joe.
-He'll be destroyed. -Or I will be.
I'll call you when I arrive at the theater.
-I'm supposed to go out. -Please.
Please, you've got to wait for my call.
-Gussie. -I'm desperate.
I'll wait for your call.
Consider yourself kissed.
JOE: You got this guy everything
anybody could ever want in a kitchen except for glasses.
FRANK: Here, I'll get them. They're still packed.
Ugh, eek, look at me. Oh, that means don't.
I'm going to the little boys' room to repair.
JOE: That's real first-class champagne.
Oh, I don't drink.
What? Never?
Mmm, hardly ever.
No, I'm a very excessive personality.
[CHUCKLES]
You know, it's too much caffeine,
too much cigarettes, too much food.
Too much Frank.
Is Frank the only person in the world
who doesn't know you're in love with him?
And how many people know about those two? Oh.
Uh, I mean, I'm sure there must be one or two...
[JOE CHUCKLES]
...who don't.
I have decided not to know.
She is now Broadway's hottest star.
And the guy, he's hot, too, obviously,
in more than one sense. [CHUCKLES]
I say, let them get it out of their systems.
As long as, please, God, she don't leave me.
[POURS DRINK]
MARY: Well, uh... [CHUCKLES]
I think Frank's being on a boat
for the last eight months has put an end to it.
Gussie flew over and joined the cruise, you know.
-What? -Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
We had no idea Gussie was on the cruise.
JOE: Mm-hmm.
It will never cease to amaze me how everyone in this town
knows everything I do.
It was only for the last two weeks.
FRANK: Okay.
Pretend these are champagne glasses.
GUSSIE: You've got yours.
Now, Charles...
-Oh, just one, Joe. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mary.
No.
-Thank you. -GUSSIE: Oh.
Oh, that's right. You never do.
-Well, more for us. -[GUSSIE AND JOE CHUCKLE]
To our genius.
Thank you. Thank you. It's always nice
-to be appreciated. -Yes.
Okay, Gus, curtain, curtain! We got a curtain.
Oh, pooh.
But one minute late, God, every column.
[CHUCKLES] And Frank, we will see you after.
Oh, uh, Frank's coming with us.
-Oh? -Actually, what I should do
is stay here and look after Frankie.
-Frankie's here. -You're kidding, aren't you?
Oh, now, Mary,
let's all let Franklin get himself settled in.
Good night, Mr. All-Work-And-No-Play.
And everybody's favorite, Charley.
CHARLEY: Hmm.
Don't you guys stay strangers now.
CHARLEY: Good night, Joe. MARY: Bye.
JOE: Yep.
-So you're really not coming? -FRANK: I can't leave.
-[LAUGHING] -Not right now, Mary.
-Frank... -Just accept that, will you?
Please.
-Here's to us. -FRANK: Mary.
MARY: [VOICE BREAKING] Come on, Charley.
Let's go have ourselves one hell of a time.
CHARLEY: I'll be down in a minute.
-[DOOR CLOSES] -Get rid of Gussie, Frank.
Gussie's none of your business, Charley.
But you are.
Get rid of this whole pathetic life.
Charley, I love success, okay?
I love having two out of two shows hit,
moving up in the world.
[SIGHS]
Sorry, I need some time to think.
CHARLEY: Okay, well, begin by thinking about
joining Mary and me tonight.
Frank, there is something going on with Mary right now, okay?
She hasn't written a word since her book took off.
She needs us. Frank, she needs both of us.
I made a promise I would wait for a phone call.
I have to. I promised.
Wait for her call and get out of it, once and for all.
Drop Frankie at ours and meet us at the Downtown Club.
I'll be there. Come here.
You know I love you.
I love you.
I missed you.
And I just want us to get back working together.
Look, get out of here before the both of us start wailing.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[SIGHS]
[PLAYS LIGHT PIANO RIFF]
[PLAYING GENTLE MUSIC]
[GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES]
♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum ♪
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING, GROWING UP ]
[HUMMING TO MUSIC]
♪ Thanks, old friends ♪
[HUMMING]
♪ Keep reminding me ♪
♪ Frank's old friends ♪
♪ Always seem to come through ♪
♪ Frank will, too ♪
- ♪ So, old friends ♪ -[ORCHESTRA JOINS IN]
♪ Now it's time to start growing up ♪
♪ Taking charge ♪
♪ Seeing things as they are ♪
♪ Facing facts ♪
♪ Not escaping them ♪
♪ Still with dreams, just reshaping them ♪
♪ Growing up ♪
♪ Charley is a hothead ♪
♪ Charley won't budge ♪
♪ Charley is a friend ♪
♪ Charley is a screamer ♪
♪ Charley won't bend ♪
♪ Charley's in your corner ♪
♪ Mary is a dreamer, Mary's a friend ♪
♪ Mary is a nudge ♪
♪ Mary is a purist ♪
♪ Charley's a judge ♪
♪ Charley is a dropout ♪
♪ Everything's a cop-out ♪
♪ Why is it old friends Don't want old friends ♪
♪ To change? ♪
♪ Every road has a turning ♪
♪ That's the way you keep learning ♪
♪ So, old friends ♪
♪ Don't you see we can have it all? ♪
♪ Moving on ♪
♪ Getting out of the past ♪
♪ Solving dreams ♪
♪ Not just trusting them ♪
♪ Taking dreams, readjusting them ♪
♪ Growing up ♪
♪ Trying things ♪
♪ Being flexible ♪
♪ Bending with the road ♪
♪ Adding dreams ♪
♪ When the others don't last ♪
♪ Growing up ♪
♪ Understanding that growing never ends ♪
♪ Like old dreams ♪
♪ Some old dreams ♪
♪ Like old friends ♪
[HUMMING]
[MUSIC ENDS]
Don't stop.
I thought you were going to call.
I said I had a headache and had the car bring me back here.
I have plans, Gussie.
I'm going to meet Mary and Charley.
And there's something I have to say to you.
-I think that it's... -Frank!
I did it.
I had the driver take my things to a hotel.
Gussie, don't. No, you can't do that.
We've already destroyed one marriage.
I could never live with you leaving Joe for me.
-I'm leaving him for me. -FRANK: But why?
Why suddenly? Why tonight?
I saw tonight I could lose you.
My friends are waiting.
Your friends will be there for you tomorrow.
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
I need you tonight.
♪ Life is knowing ♪
♪ What you want ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ That's the only thing ♪
♪ To know ♪
♪ As I told you moons ago ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Nothing wrong with wanting ♪
♪ Nothing wrong with wanting me ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Also, nothing wrong with ♪
♪ Not ♪
♪ Though it's only fair ♪
♪ That you should be aware ♪
♪ That I want you a lot ♪
♪ Growing up ♪
♪ Means admitting The things you want the most ♪
♪ Can't pursue ♪
♪ Every possible line ♪
♪ Letting go ♪
♪ Making choices ♪
♪ Ignoring all other voices ♪
♪ Including mine ♪
♪ You're divine ♪
♪ You decide on what you want ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Not on what you think ♪
♪ You should ♪
♪ Not on what you want to want ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Not from force of habit ♪
♪ Once it's clearly understood ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Better go and grab it ♪
♪ Things can slip away for good ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ What is it you really ♪
♪ Hmm? ♪
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING, THIRD TRANSITION ]
-♪ Yesterday is done ♪ - ♪ Yesterday is done ♪
♪ See the pretty countryside ♪
♪ Merrily we roll along, roll along ♪
♪ Gathering dreams ♪
MEN: ♪ Traveling's the fun ♪ WOMEN: ♪ Traveling's the fun ♪
♪ Flashing by the countryside ♪
ALL: ♪ Everybody merrily, merrily ♪
♪ Following dreams ♪
♪ Rolling along ♪
♪ Rolling a... ♪
[GAVEL BANGING]
JUDGE: In the case of Shepard v. Shepard,
after serious consideration,
I have made a decision to close this courtroom
to both the press and the public.
After a one-hour recess, we will reconvene behind closed doors
with the next subpoenaed witness.
-[CAMERA CLICKS] -This court is now adjourned.
-[GAVEL BANGING] -PHOTOGRAPHER: Hey!
You missed the star going in.
Stay close. We'll try to grab her coming out.
I left as soon as the peace march broke.
-What do you got? -Composer's wife,
who wants every last cent, plus the kid.
This cat's gonna be lucky if they let him keep his clothes.
I thought you got something hot.
After the judge reads the deposition
from the star witness
and suddenly closes the courtroom to the public,
trust me, I got something hot. [CHUCKLES]
You're a big star. You got to know better.
It's an innocent little friendship
that's been blown totally out of proportion.
KT: Hold it. Miss Carnegie, why were you subpoenaed?
Financial records, percentage chazerei.
Miss Carnegie, how are you two involved in this scandal?
-We are not involved. -And it is not a scandal.
We have no comment.
Can you tell us why you were subpoenaed to testify today?
The wife and me?
We are Mr. Shepard's best friends, I guess, is why.
Do you not understand that we have no comment?
-[SCOFFS] -Excuse me. I'm sorry.
-[REPORTERS CLAMORING] -I'm very sorry.
And the public knows "no comment"
means guilty as hell.
Do you have any statement for the press, Counselor?
I have no statement. Stay with me.
KT: I understand that Gussie Carnegie
is scheduled to testify this afternoon
-in a closed courtroom. -That's what we understand.
-Why? -We have no idea.
Maybe Mr. Shepard can explain. Isn't Mr. Shepard coming out?
Mr. Shepard just left by a side exit.
PHOTOGRAPHER: I know that exit! Come on!
Go get him, Charley.
Frank, Frank, this has gone on long enough.
Yeah, we all think you should just
get out of this any way you can.
-Give Beth whatever she wants. -Charley, she wants everything.
JEROME: I warned you in the beginning, Frank.
Settle for whatever, but settle.
A woman charging abandonment of a wife and child, come on!
Beth wants to move back to Houston with my son,
and I will never allow that, never.
You know what they're planning to do today, Frank.
With Beth sitting there, with your kid on her lap.
MARY: Just stop it now, Frank. Walk away.
-Take a trip. -Save yourself all this pain.
-I cannot just lose my family. -Frank, I've taken that yacht.
Come on the cruise. Get away. Get some rest.
Yeah, and when you come back, you can stay with me.
Just go, Frank. We all want you out of this.
-Just get away. -I can't live without my son.
Beth.
-Beth! -FRANK JR.: Daddy!
I am not gonna give up, Jerome.
-Daddy, wait for me. -Don't be a fool, Elizabeth.
I said wait.
Honey, Mommy will be right back, okay?
You go with Grandpa.
-Daddy! -Your mother would
-turn over in her grave. -Daddy!
Daddy! I want to see my daddy!
-I want you to give up, Frank. -FRANK: Never.
You're not gonna like what you hear this afternoon.
It's not life without my son.
I am not out to hurt you, Frank,
but I will hurt you if I have to.
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING, NOT A DAY GOES BY ]
How is Frankie?
How do you think he is, Frank?
I keep thinking, "I could have stopped it."
I was warned about Gussie.
I could have stopped it.
Do you still love me?
Did you sleep with her, Frank?
Do you still love me?
♪ Not a day goes by ♪
♪ Not a single day ♪
♪ But you're somewhere a part of my life ♪
♪ And it looks like you'll stay ♪
♪ As the days go by ♪
♪ I keep thinking ♪
♪ When does it end? ♪
♪ Where's the day I'll have started forgetting? ♪
♪ But I just go on thinking and sweating ♪
♪ And cursing and crying ♪
♪ And turning and reaching ♪
♪ And waking and dying ♪
[VOICE CRACKS] ♪ And, no ♪
♪ Not a day goes by ♪
♪ Not a blessed day ♪
♪ But you're still somehow Part of my life ♪
♪ And you won't go away ♪
♪ So there's hell to pay ♪
♪ And until I die ♪
[CRYING] ♪ I'll die day after day ♪
♪ After day after day ♪
♪ After day after day after day ♪
♪ Till the days go by ♪
[SOBBING]
Did you sleep with Gussie?
[SONG ENDS]
I love you, Beth.
[SOBBING SOFTLY]
Did you want that life so much that you went with her?
I will always love you.
But did you?
Yes.
[SOBBING SOFTLY]
-Frank, I want us to... -Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!
Frankie, you're to stay with Grandpa.
He's my child, too. Get out of here!
Franklin, I can't! I can't live like this, Frank!
-I can't! -For God's sakes, wait!
Are you satisfied?
It's my job, man.
-Then go find a decent one, man! -MARY: Careful!
-Whoa, whoa! -Come on, Frank!
CHARLEY: Break it up, Frank! MARY: Stop it!
-Stop this. Stop. -[SOBBING]
I'll kill these photos, genius, but you owe me one.
Right?
[SOBBING CONTINUES]
MARY: Frank, we want you to just get away.
Hold me, Mary.
All I want to do is get back to work! I have to work!
No, you're in no shape to write, pal.
Look, just go off with Tyler for a while.
I don't want to go away!
I am your agent, and I'm telling you,
-now is not the time to work. -I love you, Frank.
[STUTTERING] And Charley loves you, all right?
You just listen to us.
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING, NOW YOU KNOW ]
Living well is the best revenge.
♪ So you made a mistake So you're singing the blues ♪
♪ So you'll take some time Go visit some places ♪
♪ You gotta be somewhere ♪
♪ Where there's nothing to remind you ♪
Right?
♪ What you need is a break I'll arrange a nice cruise ♪
♪ You'll relax a bit And see some new faces ♪
♪ You gotta do something Only never look behind you ♪
GROUP: Right?
♪ Best thing that ever Could have happened ♪
Right.
♪ So you'll sit in the sun You'll come back with a tan ♪
♪ Then we'll do that show You've always been talking ♪
♪ The side is retired So we start another inning ♪
Right?
♪ On a boat is such fun ♪
♪ You'll come back a changed man ♪
♪ I've had lots of guests And no one's squawking ♪
♪ Feels like an ending But it's really a beginning ♪
CHARLEY AND MARY: Right?
SCOTTY: ♪ Best thing That ever could have happened ♪
♪ Best thing that ever Could have happened ♪
- ♪ I say, best thing... ♪ -[OVERLAPPING SINGING]
♪ It was all getting much too complicated ♪
-Right! -[SINGING STOPS]
All right.
-[JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING] -♪ Now you know life is crummy ♪
♪ Well, now you know ♪
♪ I mean, big surprise ♪
♪ People love you and tell you lies ♪
♪ Bricks can tumble From clear blue skies ♪
♪ Put your dimple down, now you know ♪
♪ Okay, there you go That's the sum of it ♪
♪ Now you know ♪
♪ It's called flowers wilt It's called apples rot ♪
♪ It's called thieves get rich And saints get shot ♪
♪ It's called God don't Answer prayers a lot ♪
♪ Okay, now you know ♪
♪ Now forget it Don't fall apart at the seams ♪
♪ It's called letting go your illusions ♪
♪ And don't confuse them with dreams ♪
♪ If the going's slow ♪
♪ Don't regret it and don't let's go to extremes ♪
♪ It's called what's your choice ♪
♪ It's called count to ten ♪
♪ It's called burn your bridges Start again ♪
♪ You should burn them Every now and then ♪
♪ Or you'll never grow ♪
♪ Because now you grow That's the killer ♪
♪ Is now you grow ♪
♪ You're right, nothing's fair ♪
♪ And it's all a plot ♪
♪ And tomorrow doesn't look too hot ♪
Right?
♪ You better look at what you got ♪
♪ Over here ♪
♪ Hello? ♪
♪ Okay, now you know ♪
Right?
GROUP: ♪ So you find a new gal So you write a new play ♪
♪ In a month or two You're going to thank us ♪
♪ You may have missed one road ♪
♪ But there's plenty more to follow ♪
Right?
♪ We'll go through the canal ♪
♪ Up the coast to L.A. ♪
♪ You'll come see the place I'm building at Trancas ♪
♪ Hang around here, pal And you're only gonna wallow ♪
Right?
♪ Best thing that ever could have ♪
♪ I mean, you'll come back I mean, what's the fuss? ♪
♪ I mean, sea and sun and comfort plus ♪
♪ Happened ♪
♪ I mean, after all, you still got us ♪
GROUP: ♪ Best thing That ever could have happened ♪
♪ It was all getting Much too complicated ♪
♪ Best thing that ever Could have happened ♪
♪ Right, you gotta let go Gotta do it from scratch ♪
♪ Take a long, deep breath Go back to your sources ♪
♪ A little vacation Which is all about forgetting ♪
-Right? Right! -GROUP: Right.
♪ Then we'll do a new show No, we'll do a whole batch ♪
♪ Maybe one that's all about divorces ♪
♪ I mean, a divorce court ♪
♪ What a fascinating setting, right? ♪
GROUP: Right. FRANK: Right.
GROUP I: ♪ Best thing that ever Could have happened ♪
GROUP II: ♪ Yesterday is done ♪
GROUP I: ♪ Best thing that Ever could have happened ♪
GROUP II: ♪ See the pretty countryside ♪
GROUP III: ♪ So you'll sit in the sun You'll come back with a tan ♪
GROUP II: ♪ Soon enough you're merrily, merrily ♪
- ♪ Rolling along ♪ -CHORUS: ♪ It's your time, your time ♪
GROUP II: ♪ Rolling along ♪ CHORUS: ♪ It's your time ♪
[EXCITED CHATTER]
♪ What's your choice? It's called count to ten ♪
♪ It's called burn your bridges Start again ♪
♪ You should burn them Every now and then ♪
- ♪ Or you'll never grow ♪ -[IMPERCEPTIBLE]
♪ Because now you grow, life's a killer ♪
♪ So now you grow ♪
MARY: ♪ You're right Nothing's fair ♪
♪ And it's all a plot ♪
♪ And tomorrow doesn't look too hot ♪
CHORUS: Right.
♪ You better look at what you got ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Over here, hello? ♪
GROUP I: ♪ Hello? ♪ GROUP II: ♪ Hello? ♪
GROUP I: ♪ Over here, hello ♪ GROUP II: ♪ Now you know it ♪
GROUP I: ♪ It's here, hello, hello ♪ GROUP II: ♪ Now you know it ♪
-Right! -Right!
-Write! -Right!
-Right! Right! Right! Right! -Right! Right! Right! Right!
-I love you, Frank! -[INCOHERENT YELLING]
CHORUS: ♪ Now you know! ♪
-[SONG ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[SULTRY MUSIC PLAYING, GUSSIE'S OPENING NUMBER ]
♪ He's only a boy ♪
♪ Why do I think he loves me? ♪
♪ Maybe he loves what I can do for him ♪
♪ Maybe he thinks that I'll come through for him ♪
♪ Maybe the moon is cheese ♪
♪ And yet maybe ♪
♪ Maybe ♪
♪ Something real is happening here ♪
♪ But, baby ♪
♪ You're a baby ♪
♪ And the man I'm married to ♪
♪ Needs me near ♪
Ha!
♪ Okay ♪
♪ The moon is cheese ♪
♪ And I love the guy I shouldn't ♪
♪ And I don't the one I should ♪
♪ Ah, but love is blind ♪
♪ And I go for the kind That I finally find ♪
♪ Is no good ♪
- ♪ Ah ♪ -BACKUP SINGERS: ♪ Is no good ♪
♪ And as we're going along ♪
♪ You take for granted Some love will wear away ♪
♪ We took for granted a lot ♪
♪ But still I say ♪
♪ We could have kept on growing ♪
♪ Growing, bop ♪
♪ Instead of just kept on ♪
BACKUP SINGERS: ♪ Kept on growing ♪
♪ On ♪
-♪ We had a good thing ♪ -BACKUP SINGERS: ♪ Ba, ba-da ♪
-♪ going ♪ -♪ ba-da ♪
BACKUP SINGERS: ♪ Going ♪
- ♪ Going ♪ - BACKUP SINGERS: ♪ Gone ♪
-[BACKUP SINGERS SCATTING] - ♪ Gone ♪
BACKUP SINGERS: ♪ Going ♪
BACKUP SINGERS: ♪ Gone ♪
-[SONG ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Just in time, but we got to go fast.
We're gonna make it just in time for the ending!
[WHIMPERING]
-Shh! -Shush!
You got an opening night inside, or did you forget?
We're sorry, we're very sorry, but something amazing happened.
Ah, I'll say amazing.
When, suddenly, right before the 11:00 number,
the whole pack of you jumps right out of your seats,
turns and runs straight up the center aisle, like a bunch of...
-like a bunch of meshuggeners. -Yes.
It... It was Evelyn.
Suddenly, just like that, she went into labor.
And being Evelyn, she didn't tell us
until her pains were only five minutes apart.
We just a second ago got her into a cab.
What in the hell are you doing here?
No, my wife would not let me into the cab.
Evelyn refused to let Charley miss our first opening night.
She even brought a tape recorder to record the applause.
[CHUCKLES] From your mouth to God's ear.
At the very second the applause is over,
Charley, I have that cab waiting.
We are gonna fly to the hospital in record time.
-I promise. -Shh.
They're quiet.
Very quiet.
When an audience is quiet like that,
it means that they are really concentrating.
"Shut up, Mary."
We should go back in for the closing.
[STAMMERS]
I didn't mean "the closing."
BETH: Okay, Mama, now, the cab there
with the meter running is for Charley,
so you and Daddy take the one right behind it.
And I will see you very soon, little bit, and I'll tell you
every single thing that happened.
Oh, I wanted him to be here opening night.
Oh, Frank, he's been here
-opening night. -[FRANK CHUCKLES]
-Mwah! We love you very much. -[CAB HORN HONKING]
And we thank you very much.
MR. SPENCER: I don't understand
why in hell any human being in his right mind would...
-Ever, ever live... -ALL: Ever, ever live...
-...in New York City. -ALL: ...in New York City.
Charley, let's do another show.
BETH: Yes. MARY: Yes, and then another,
and then another, and then another.
Yeah, and, and...
I'll produce it.
Wait a minute, Joe.
You'll produce "Take a Left"?
[LAUGHS]
First I say, get yourselves a couple of hits.
Show 'em you can make money.
Then, then you can do that political flop
and show 'em you got... [SCOFFS] ...integrity.
Me, I got such an idea for you guys, so commercial.
First you'll hate it, then you'll love it.
Frank, you know I never say anything,
but I'm gonna say this.
For me, for me, just do one more for Joe,
and then you can go and do "Take a Left."
I know the kind of music I want to write.
I also know that it's very hard on you right now,
but Beth, I am asking you to trust me.
And I am asking you to trust me.
Beth, guys, right now is the time.
You got to do your own stuff.
Mary, you don't have a child
and you just had yourself a bestseller,
so that's very easy for you to say.
Yeah, Beth, trust me,
success ain't all it's cracked up to be.
I think Charley and I will handle success very well.
Look how well we've handled failure.
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
[STAMMERS]
[IMITATES CORK POPPING]
-♪ Listen to that ♪ -[ IT'S A HIT PLAYING]
- ♪ Will you listen to that ♪ -[HOPEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Do you know what that means? ♪
♪ Let me tell you what that means ♪
♪ Wait, no, anyone who even thinks it ♪
♪ Don't say it, you'll jinx it ♪
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE]
- ♪ Listen to that ♪ -[LAUGHING]
♪ Did you listen to that? ♪
♪ Does that make you feel proud? ♪
♪ Well, feel more than just proud ♪
♪ Okay, wait, I'll tempt fate ♪
♪ And I'll state it out loud ♪
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE]
♪ That's the sound ♪
♪ Of a ♪
♪ Hit ♪
♪ It's a hit ♪
♪ Gang, I think this is it ♪
♪ No more writing clever little shows ♪
♪ For those basement saloons ♪
♪ No more proclamations from the pros ♪
♪ That you can't hum the tune ♪
♪ No more sneaking in at intermission ♪
♪ To the plays you wish you could afford ♪
♪ Or producers having you audition ♪
♪ Whenever they're bored ♪
♪ And who say right away As you play the first chord ♪
"Boys, boys, it's very...
-"What is the word? Interesting. -[OTHERS GROAN]
"And if I had the slightest belief
"any audiences would come, I would do it in a minute.
"Next!"
♪ We're a hit, we're a hit ♪
♪ Standing up, the whole bit ♪
♪ No more coaching those sopranos ♪
♪ With voices like bees ♪
♪ No more secondhand pianos With six broken keys ♪
♪ No more agents giving you opinions ♪
♪ As they turn you over to their minions ♪
GROUP: ♪ As for these guarantees ♪
♪ We should please thank the Lord ♪
♪ It's a hit, it's a hit ♪
♪ Will my folks have a fit ♪
♪ After all of that baloney They made me go through ♪
♪ All that, "Honey, not that he's a phony ♪
♪ "But what does he do?" ♪
♪ Will their faces be stony When they see on their Sony ♪
♪ Someone handing the phony a Tony Award ♪
I would like to begin by thanking
all the hundreds of people who have turned down
every show I have ever written
so that I could win tonight for this one.
[CROWD CHEERING OVER TAPE RECORDER]
Thank you.
♪ Listen to that Will you listen to that ♪
♪ Tell me, is that a noise Or is that a noise? ♪
♪ That is a noise we've been waiting ♪
♪ The whole of our lives to hear ♪
BETH: ♪ Listen to that ♪ FRANK: ♪ Listen to that ♪
- ♪ Will you listen to that ♪ - ♪ To that ♪
- ♪ Honey, is that a noise ♪ - ♪ I can't stand it ♪
♪ Or is that a noise? That is the loveliest noise ♪
♪ For a breadwinning wife to hear ♪
♪ Listen to that, that's obscene ♪
-JOE: ♪ Listen to that ♪ - ♪ Listen to that ♪
♪ That is a noise, that is really a ♪
♪ That's the noise I've been waiting ♪
- ♪ My life to hear ♪ -[OVERLAPPING SINGING]
♪ Listen to that, listen to that ♪
ALL: ♪ Will you listen to that Will you listen to that ♪
♪ That's the sound of An audience losing its mind ♪
♪ It's the Pope on his balcony Blessing mankind ♪
♪ Folks, it's Funny Girl, Fiddler ♪
♪ And Dolly combine... ♪
♪ ...d ♪
[CHUCKLING]
♪ It's a hit ♪
♪ It's a hit, it's a palpable hit ♪
♪ If it only even runs a minute ♪
♪ At least it's a wedge ♪
♪ It's the theater And we're really in it ♪
♪ Not just on the edge ♪
♪ If your spirits ever need improving ♪
♪ You can drop in any night for free ♪
♪ But the thing that's positively moving ♪
♪ You could have fooled me ♪
FRANK AND CHARLEY: ♪ Is we're still old friends ♪
♪ Nothing can kill old friends ♪
FRANK, CHARLEY AND MARY: ♪ Where there's a will, old friends ♪
♪ Don't need success to survive ♪
ALL: ♪ And us, old friends ♪
♪ What's to discuss, old friends? ♪
♪ We've got a surefire Genuine, walkaway ♪
♪ Blockbuster, lines down to Broadway ♪
♪ Boffola, sensational ♪
♪ Box office, lollapalooza ♪
♪ Gargantuan ♪
♪ Hit ♪
♪ It's a hit ♪
♪ It's a hit, it's a hit, it's a hit ♪
♪ It's a hit! ♪
-[SONG ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[ALL LAUGHING, MURMURING]
This is what everybody lives for!
Now we go back in and fake being modest.
[LAUGHING]
No, no, no, I'm having a baby!
-We're coming! -God! Wait, wait, wait!
What about the opening party?
You two, go to the party.
Frank, I will do one more for Joe Josephson,
-but just one more. -One more.
-And then it's our time. -One more. Okay, come on.
[BOTH SCREAM EXCITEDLY]
Frank, I was there for Evelyn's last baby,
and I don't want to miss this one, but you,
you go to the party without me.
No, honey. Absolutely not. No, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes. I am so proud of you.
Okay, if I don't see you at the hospital,
I'll see you at home later.
-[FRANK LAUGHING] -[GRUNTING EXCITEDLY]
I love you so much!
Wait, Beth. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Now, look, with, with Gussie there, I urge you,
you go with Frank.
Sometimes you just have to trust, Mary.
Well, and sometimes you don't.
I would never want a man I couldn't trust.
JOE: Hey! Hey, hey.
-Big man. -[FRANK CHUCKLES]
You got a ride to this fancy-schmancy party?
I can only stay one or two minutes.
GUSSIE: Oh!
Was that not why we do all this?
Was that not just heaven?
[JOE GRUNTS EXCITEDLY]
I got to go make nice with the backers.
You two, take our car.
I won't be able to afford this big man now.
You watch.
[JOE CHUCKLES]
What a blessing it has been to find another pure artist.
-[LAUGHS] -So often I have just
wanted to thank you.
But Franklin Shepard, I think that there's been a conspiracy
to keep you from me.
Miss Carnegie, I owe you so much.
Didn't I tell you a few years ago...
it's fate that brought us together?
Now you, all you've done these past months
-is work, work, work! -[CHUCKLES]
Tonight, let me show you how divine it is to be number one.
Everyone is waiting to meet the man of the hour.
[CROWD CHEERING OVER TAPE RECORDER]
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING, FOURTH TRANSITION ]
TYLER: ♪ Dreams don't die ♪
♪ So keep an eye on your dream ♪
GROUP: ♪ 'Cause before you know where you are ♪
♪ There you are ♪
♪ Time goes by and dreams go dry ♪
♪ But you can't give up on your dream ♪
♪ Tend your dream ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Some roads are easy ♪
♪ Dreams take time ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Some roads are all uphill ♪
BUNKER: ♪ All uphill ♪ CHORUS: ♪ Time goes by ♪
♪ Some roads you plod along with a will ♪
♪ Some roads you travel Just for the thrill ♪
- ♪ Bend your dreams ♪ -DORY: ♪ Some roads are breezy ♪
- ♪ Some roads are breezy ♪ -CHORUS: ♪ With the road ♪
♪ Some roads are full Of jiggles and bumps ♪
♪ Can't let it get you down in the dumps ♪
♪ Don't let it get you down in the dumps ♪
♪ 1964 ♪
♪ 1963 ♪
ALL: ♪ 1962 ♪
-[ THE BLOB - PART 1 PLAYING] -[WHOOPING EXCITED CHATTER]
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
- ♪ Have you seen? ♪ - ♪ How was it? ♪
- ♪ You're not serious ♪ - ♪ Do you mean? ♪
- ♪ That does it ♪ - ♪ You're not serious ♪
- ♪ Have you seen? ♪ - ♪ Darling ♪
♪ How was it? ♪
- ♪ You're not serious ♪ - ♪ We bought the most ♪
- ♪ Darling ♪ - ♪ That does it ♪
- ♪ You're not serious ♪ -MAN: ♪ We had the best ♪
- ♪ How was it? ♪ -[OVERLAPPING SINGING]
-WOMEN: ♪ Darling ♪ - ♪ Did you ever ♪
- ♪ You're not serious ♪ -CHORUS: ♪ It's the best ♪
♪ It's the first, it's the finest ♪
♪ It's the latest, it's the least ♪
♪ It's the worst, It's the absolutely lowest ♪
♪ It's the greatest, it's the single ♪
♪ It's the only, it's the perfect ♪
♪ It's the... Hi! Dreadful ♪
BETH: Oh, Frank, Frank.
-That's the mayor. [EXCLAIMS] -FRANK: I know. I know.
[GASPS] She's my favorite actress.
FRANK: I see, I see. BETH: Oh, do you see who she's with?
Beth, I'm not looking for celebrities.
-I'm looking for Charley. -Oh, Frank, you can do both.
I've never seen so many famous people.
[SCREAMS EXCITEDLY]
ALL: What? Who? Where?
Oh.
So, what did he say?
I haven't talked to him yet, but it's obvious
he didn't invite us here because we fit in so well.
I am more sure than ever that he wants to option our show.
I'm sure, too, but let's not be too sure.
I just have the pastry concession.
You are the one who's supposed to be handling the business.
I am handling it. Charley, you watch.
All this time we put into our writing, it is gonna pay off.
Well, I don't care what he asks.
You just say yes.
All I want is for us to be rich as long as we've been poor.
FRANK: There are a lot of sophisticated people here.
BETH: Oh, God.
If I had known that, I would have worn earrings.
-Oh, gosh. -Oh, what's going on?
-Those people over there. -Uh-huh?
They're smoking marijuana.
I've smelled it before.
In the Village.
I thought it was autumn.
-[JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING] -ALL: What? [GASPING]
ALL: ♪ Darling, we saw the new ♪
♪ Darling, we had the most Bad, it was good ♪
- ♪ It's the biggest ♪ - ♪ He's a genius ♪
♪ Well, he can't, but he used to ♪
♪ It's the dumbest, she's a genius It's the... ♪
FRANK: Hi, hi, hi.
I don't know if you remember me.
I'm Franklin Shepard, and this is Charley Kringas,
-who writes my lyrics. -Remember you?
You're the reason we're giving this bash,
according to our accountant, anyway.
[GRUNTS] Oh, God.
Sorry.
And this is Beth, my wife Beth.
-Do you write songs, too? -Oh, no.
Right now, I'm the family breadwinner.
You don't mind if I kidnap him, do you?
I have invited the richest and the most influential people
in this town tonight.
Not one of whom is as rich or influential
as you're going to be.
I call them "the Blob."
They absorb everything.
♪ Meet the Blob ♪
♪ The bodies you read about ♪
♪ The ones who know everyone ♪
♪ That everyone knows ♪
GROUP: ♪ Hi! Dreadful! ♪
- ♪ Fabulous! ♪ -GUSSIE: ♪ Meet the Blob ♪
- ♪ Not many and yet ♪ - GROUP: ♪ Oh, right ♪
- ♪ You never see one ♪ - GROUP: ♪ What? No ♪
- ♪ They come as a set ♪ - GROUP: ♪ Who, him? ♪
GUSSIE: ♪ And we're in their debt ♪
GROUP: ♪ But what do you think? ♪
GUSSIE: ♪ 'Cause, honeybunch, They write the books ♪
♪ And put on the shows And run the saloons ♪
- ♪ And design the clothes ♪ -[GRUNTS]
- ♪ They keep us natives on our toes ♪ -[MOANING]
GROUP: ♪ Albee, Warhol, Kurosawa ♪
♪ They read the books And go to the shows ♪
♪ And swamp the saloons Wearing all the clothes ♪
♪ What you might call a glut ♪
♪ But they're the most important people ♪
♪ In the most important city In the most important country ♪
♪ In the you-know-what ♪
GROUP: ♪ Heavy! Miltown! ♪
♪ Gestalt ♪
-[SONG ENDS] -GUSSIE: [CHUCKLES] Beth,
darling. You don't have any hooch.
Oh, oh! Oh!
Oh, I'm going to open my veins.
Oh, no, no, no, no. That's okay.
It better be, 'cause now I own it.
[STUTTERS] Joe, Joe, come quick.
We have a gigantic catastrophe. Oh, this is scandalous.
Joe? Joe?
Come and take this gorgeous person up to my closet,
and she is gonna choose some rag of mine.
Move! Joe, please.
I am paralyzed with shame.
Oh, did you talk to my wife?
We have something in mind maybe for Broadway.
GUSSIE: Joe, if you don't hurry,
I'm going to throw myself down the garbage disposal.
-Now move! -[JOE CHUCKLES]
Your new songs are just beautiful.
I've got some newer ones.
[LAUGHS] You're wonderful.
I just admire people like you so much.
You seem to know everyone and do everything.
Yes, I do.
One day, I just made myself up.
And now I never change.
Instead, I change the people around me.
-[FINGERS SNAP] -Scotty,
precious,
this is your new client, Franklin Shepard.
Well, I'll holler on you tomorrow.
Or you can yell on me. I'm in the book.
So am I.
See how much you two have in common?
-[SQUEALS, GIGGLES] -[LAUGHS]
I just found you an agent.
Joe gave me this greenhouse as a wedding present.
He has a tendency to worship me.
It's great.
If you like it, take it home.
I married Joe because he liked me
and I liked this life.
I married the one before him because, well,
I believed him when he said he could write.
-[CHUCKLES] -And the first one...
I don't really think first ones count.
Do you?
This greenhouse seems as out of place in New York as I do.
Only at first, darling.
Now I find it to be the best thing about this dump.
-How old are you? -Twenty-five.
Which doesn't bother me,
and then I think I'm a quarter of a century, and I panic.
There's so much I want to do, and I can't get started.
I can't even... [CHUCKLES] What?
Here's something I like to do
when I want to get to know someone very well, very fast.
It's a game.
I tell you something honest about me,
and you answer me right away with something honest about you.
I call it "Trading Hostages."
[CHUCKLES, MUTTERS NERVOUSLY]
I'm not very happy.
Go on. [CHUCKLES]
-I'm not very happy. -I'm very happy.
Huh.
I am inches away from the top.
I am miles away from the top.
Make that hundreds of thousands of miles away.
-Performing is my life. -Composing is my life.
Success is not happening fast enough.
Success is not happening at all.
I have been in five Broadway shows.
I have seen the second act of every one.
[LAUGHING]
Someone's cheating.
I've done five Broadway shows.
Me, I can't get started. I can't even...
-My first love is singing. -My first love is music.
-My second love is acting. -My second love is music.
I think it's fate that brought us together!
I...
Anyhoo. [CHUCKLES]
I did all those Broadway shows.
Most of which didn't last as long as this conversation.
And Joe...
Joe has just optioned a vehicle that could change my life.
And yours.
We both want you and your partner to do the score!
Do I see disappointment on that sweet face?
We were hoping that he wanted to do Take a Left,
the show that Charley and I auditioned for him.
Oh, no, darling, not at all.
It's just we've been working on it for three years.
Well, you can do this one much faster.
But he wants me to make sure you understand,
we want it fast, loud and funny.
I need a hit. What do you say?
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING, GROWING UP (REPRISE) ]
♪ Life is knowing what you want ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ That's the thing you have to ♪
♪ Know ♪
♪ You'll get everything you want ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Have a little patience ♪
♪ Climbing mountains can be slow ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Take it easy as you ♪
♪ Climb ♪
♪ I'd say you're a winner ♪
♪ Also a beginner ♪
♪ One step at a time ♪
♪ Growing up ♪
♪ It's what they call growing up ♪
♪ It's when we're all starting out ♪
♪ And starting to sway ♪
♪ Growing up ♪
♪ You hate the delay ♪
♪ But after today ♪
♪ You'll be on your way ♪
♪ So what do you say? ♪
Hmm?
Okay.
[LAUGHING EXCITEDLY]
Now... Now, this is not a show about subtle.
It's not big on depth.
It's flash, bam, curtain. It's fun!
It's opulent!
It's Broadway.
[LAUGHS] God.
Okay.
Oh, what was that?
-A second thought. -Oh, no, no.
That's something I do when I want to hold on to a moment.
I close my eyes very tight and I swallow,
like I take a picture that I can treasure.
You're a treasure.
-[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING] -[LIVELY CHATTER]
-[DISCORDANT PIANO NOTES] -[MUSIC AND CHATTER STOP]
Now, I want everyone who hasn't drunk, smoke
or gorged themselves too much
to hurry over here. Chop-chop!
Ah, Frank, look at this!
Oh, honey, it's beautiful!
Mary, where have you been?
I had to borrow a dress from the guy upstairs.
Oh, darling!
It looks wonderful on you. Keep it.
I'm too fat for it anyway.
Oh, uh, Gussie, this is our friend, Mary Flynn.
Mary's a copy editor,
but she's gonna have her own book published very soon.
MARY: Sorry I'm late.
[CHUCKLES] So glad you didn't wait.
Mary, Charley and Frank
are these totally inseparable friends.
Well, I have to separate for a minute.
-I got to go find Charley. -Oh, no.
I've got plans for you.
Mary Flynn,
would you be as sweet as you look and go get Charley?
Oh, thank you this much.
Come, come, come.
[HISSING]
Your husband is the most
talented composer I've ever heard.
-Oh. -[BOTH LAUGH]
I hope it's all right that I am just crazy about him.
I hope it's all right, too.
All right.
All right! Quiet now!
Listen now, please, because...
one day,
you are all going to be able to say,
"I was there when."
TYLER: Oh, my God.
I have next to me
the most exciting composer ever, ever, ever.
[GIGGLES] And he is going to play a song he's written.
[CLICKS TONGUE] And when he finishes,
you are all going to want to swallow poison,
because there will be nothing more to live for.
[LAUGHTER]
So, so, find a place to park it.
Fermez all those bouches.
And I am now honored to present
Franklin Shepard and Charles...
Some funny little name.
Anyway, this song is from a little show
that they want to do
that we hope will be in a big show that we want to do!
[APPLAUSE, EXCITED CHATTER]
Wait. What, Frank? A big show?
-What is she talking about? -Later.
Sing.
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING, GOOD THING GOING ]
[CLEARS THROAT]
♪ It started out like a song ♪
♪ We started quiet and slow ♪
♪ With no surprise ♪
♪ And then one morning I woke ♪
♪ To realize ♪
♪ We had a good thing going ♪
MARY: Psst!
-[MOUTHING] Take off the... - CHARLEY: ♪ It's not that ♪
♪ Nothing went wrong ♪
♪ Some angry moments, of course ♪
♪ But just a few ♪
♪ And only moments, no more ♪
♪ Because we knew ♪
♪ We had this good thing going ♪
♪ And if I wanted too much ♪
♪ Was that such a mistake ♪
♪ At the time? ♪
♪ You never wanted enough ♪
♪ All right, tough ♪
♪ I don't make that a crime ♪
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES]
♪ And while it's going along ♪
♪ You take for granted Some love will wear away ♪
♪ We took for granted a lot ♪
♪ And still I say ♪
♪ It could have kept on growing ♪
♪ Instead of just kept on ♪
♪ We had a good thing going ♪
♪ Going ♪
♪ Gone ♪
[SONG ENDS]
[APPLAUSE, EXCITED CHATTER]
GUSSIE: Just wait. Wait, wait, wait.
CHARLEY: One time?
[EXCITED CHATTER CONTINUES]
We want to hear it again.
Tell them, wouldn't you all just like
to live your entire lives to that music?
-Yes. -Down.
Everybody, down, down, down.
They're going to do it again.
One more time!
No. Frank, say no.
-Yeah, Charley's right. -BETH: They loved it.
They thought we were great.
And do you know what true greatness is?
It's knowing when to get off.
I'll sing with you. Come on.
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING, THE BLOB - PART 2 ]
[OFFBEAT CLAPPING]
CHARLEY AND FRANK: ♪ It started out like a song ♪
[CHIMES IN] ♪ Song ♪
♪ We started quiet and slow ♪
♪ With no surprise ♪
♪ And then one morning ♪
♪ I woke to realize ♪
DORY: ♪ I said, "Joe, this show ♪
- ♪ "Will be a watershed" ♪ - ♪ We had a good thing going ♪
[SHUSHING]
JEROME: Can you pass me the wine?
♪ It's not that nothing went wrong ♪
- ♪ Some angry moments... ♪ - ♪ Did you hear ♪
- TYLER: ♪ No kidding ♪ - ♪ You're not serious ♪
-[LAUGHTER] -[SHUSHING]
- ♪ And only moments no more... ♪ -[JOE VOCALIZING]
DORY: ♪ It's a clear case of Tammany politics ♪
GROUP: ♪ We were stuck in the tunnel till half past six ♪
♪ It's a show that'll murder 'em in the sticks ♪
- ♪ Did you read? ♪ -[CHARLEY AND FRANK CONTINUE SINGING]
♪ It'll never, they just don't mix ♪
WOMEN: ♪ What we need ♪ GROUP: ♪ Did you ever ♪
-[FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYING] -GROUP: ♪ Till half past six ♪
♪ It's a clear case of Tammany politics ♪
♪ Did you read, it'll never They just don't mix ♪
♪ What we need, did you ever, till half... ♪
CHARLEY AND FRANK: ♪ Wanted enough ♪
♪ All right, tough ♪
♪ I don't make that a crime ♪
-[LAUGHING WILDLY] -[FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
CHORUS: ♪ Darling ♪ GROUP: ♪ We saw the new ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Darling ♪ GROUP: ♪ We had the most ♪
♪ Did you read, it'll never ♪
♪ They just don't mix What we need, did you ever ♪
♪ Till half past six ♪
- ♪ It's a show that'll murder 'em ♪ -[IMPERCEPTIBLE]
- ♪ In the sticks ♪ -[OVERLAPPING SINGING]
♪ It's a clear case of Tammany politics ♪
♪ It's the greatest, it's the single ♪
♪ It's the only, it's the perfect It's the one ♪
♪ It's the real, it's the true It's the final, it's the... ♪
-[WILD CHATTER, WHOOPING] -[ FIFTH TRANSITION PLAYING]
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
CHORUS: ♪ Traveling's the fun ♪
♪ Flashing by the countryside ♪
♪ Merrily we roll along, roll along ♪
♪ Catching at dreams ♪
♪ Yesterday is done ♪
♪ See the pretty countryside ♪
♪ Everybody merrily, merrily ♪
♪ 1961 ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Some roads are easy ♪
♪ Some roads are breezy ♪
♪ Some roads, the ride gets out of control ♪
♪ Grinds to a halt and ends in a hole ♪
♪ Some roads you stall Before you can roll ♪
♪ 1960 ♪
♪ It's 1960 ♪
♪ And, gosh, what a swell year it's been ♪
CHARLEY, FRANK AND BETH: ♪ So many blessings ♪
♪ Such wonders it has brought ♪
♪ You hardly know where to begin ♪
♪ There's Xerox and lasers ♪
♪ The twist and the pill ♪
- ♪ A city in Brazil ♪ -[RHYTHMIC SHAKING]
♪ That no one wants to fill ♪
♪ Khrushchev stopped screaming ♪
♪ And Librium came in ♪
♪ And Nixon didn't win ♪
[MOCK SOBBING]
♪ Goodbye, then, to Ike and the brass ♪
♪ To years that were cozy but crass ♪
♪ It's true, Ike was icky ♪
♪ But better him than Dicky ♪
♪ Now meet the first First Family with class ♪
♪ En masse ♪
-Ow! -Sorry.
[LIGHTHEARTED MUSIC PLAYING]
[WOMAN LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
- ♪ There's Bobby ♪ - ♪ And Jackie ♪
♪ And Jack ♪
♪ And myriads more in the back ♪
♪ There's Ethel and Teddy and Pat alone ♪
CHARLEY: ♪ Plus Eunice ♪ BETH: ♪ And Peter ♪
- ♪ And Jean ♪ - ♪ And Joan ♪
- ♪ And what's-his-name ♪ - ♪ Stephen ♪
♪ And hold the phone The one in the Army ♪
- ♪ One in the Army? ♪ - ♪ Captain? Major? ♪
- ♪ Sargent ♪ - ♪ That's it ♪
♪ So many cards in the pack ♪
♪ You want to know how to keep track ♪
♪ Well, one is good-looking and young and rich ♪
♪ While one is good-looking and young and rich ♪
♪ The rest are good-looking ♪
♪ And young and rich ♪
♪ There isn't a lot that they lack ♪
♪ Not Bobby and Jackie and Jack ♪
♪ And Ethel and Ted and Eunice and Pat ♪
♪ And Joan and Steve and Peter and Jean and Sarge ♪
♪ There's probably dozens of others at large ♪
♪ God knows ♪
29, 32, 54! Hut, hut, hut!
Bobby, go long!
Hey. Hi. Nice to have you there.
♪ We're bringing back style to the White House ♪
♪ I'm painting it beige for a start ♪
♪ We're making it into A cultural lighthouse ♪
- ♪ For glamour ♪ - ♪ And beauty ♪
♪ And art ♪
♪ Evenings of the Budapest Playing Vivaldi ♪
♪ And Munch doing bits of Ravel ♪
- ♪ I'll get Leontyne Price to sing her ♪ -[MOUTHING]
♪ Medley from "Meistersinger" ♪
♪ And Margot Fonteyn to dance "Giselle" ♪
♪ Together? ♪
♪ Won't it be perfectly swell? ♪
♪ We'll have Bernstein play next ♪
♪ On The Bechstein piano ♪
♪ And Auden read poems and stuff ♪
This is for you.
♪ And Galina Vishnevskaya ♪
FRANK AND CHARLEY: Gesundheit.
♪ The Russian soprano ♪
♪ Just pronouncing her name ♪
♪ Is refreshing enough ♪
[HOLDING HIGH NOTE]
[GLASS SHATTERING]
♪ We're bringing back style To the White House ♪
♪ With casual culture the rule ♪
♪ Let's have Tebaldi ♪
♪ She makes a guy feel good ♪
- ♪ And Oleg Cassini ♪ -[FRANK AND CHARLIE GASP]
♪ Well, I think he's real good ♪
♪ And how about Heifetz ♪
- ♪ And Callas ♪ - ♪ And Gielgud ♪
♪ And later, when everything's cool ♪
♪ We'll push them all into the pool ♪
-Last one. So sorry, sir. Thank you. -[WHISTLE BLOWING]
Oh!
[GRUNTING]
[FRANK AND CHARLEY YELL]
Okay, Bobby, I'll make you attorney general.
Just get off my back.
- ♪ With Bobby ♪ - ♪ And Jackie ♪
♪ And Jack ♪
♪ The White House is under attack ♪
♪ Eight years is the limit But eight will do ♪
- ♪ By then, there'll be Bobby ♪ - ♪ And Teddy, too ♪
♪ Or Peter or Stephen ♪
♪ Or even you ♪
Oh.
♪ And then there's the Colonel ♪
- ♪ Colonel? ♪ - ♪ Major? ♪
- ♪ You know ♪
- ♪ Sargent ♪ - ♪ Yes ♪
♪ Dozens to pick up the slack ♪
♪ If anything goes out of whack ♪
♪ And someday elections will be unknown ♪
♪ 'Cause each of our kids Will ascend the throne ♪
♪ And their kids have more kids with kids of their own ♪
♪ It's sort of a family knack ♪
♪ Till most of the nation's made up of relations ♪
♪ Of Bobby and Jackie and Jack ♪
♪ And Ethel and Ted and Eunice and Pat and Joan ♪
♪ And Steve and Peter and Jean ♪
♪ And Sarge and Joe and Rose and rows and rows ♪
♪ And rows and rows and rows and rows ♪
♪ The decade is starting anew ♪
♪ And maybe the country is, too ♪
-[SONG ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
The entire cast of our revue, Frankly Frank,
now in its fifth successful, not quite record-breaking month,
would like to thank you all for coming to the Downtown Club,
where we do two shows here every night
-with the exception of tonight. -[WHISTLE BLOWING]
[CHUCKLES] Cut that out.
[HORN SQUEAKING]
Anyway, please come back and bring a friend,
or come back and make a friend,
or just come back and be a friend. Thank you.
TYLER: Excuse me. Um, hey.
Excuse me, but I got really excited
when I saw your name
on the reservation list, Mr. Josephson.
Uh, me, I'm just a waiter here.
Well, actually, I'm holding down
three different jobs at the moment,
but only until I can get my invention launched.
Uh, you see, I have invented a brand-new machine
that can answer your telephone when you're not at home.
Or even if you are.
-[OTHERS CHUCKLING] -But I just somehow cannot
-get all the investors... -JOE: Yeah. Hey, kid, kid!
They have answering services with operators already
that, guess what, do exactly for people
what you want this verkakte machine here to do.
Mr. Josephson, for only $4,000, I will right now sign a contract
giving you 50% of the return.
Whoa, whoa.
I live in a penthouse, kid, not in an asylum.
Now, I will, however, I will invest
my last red cent if you can come up with a sound idea,
something like this new Smell-O-Vision movie process.
I... I...
When the hell am I gonna meet a waiter who's just a waiter?
Mr. and Mrs. Spencer, hi. I... I'm Mary Flynn.
Frank and Beth will be out in less than a minute. [CHUCKLES]
So, uh, I bet you two are excited about the wedding.
"Excited" is not the word.
You cannot imagine how important Frank is gonna be someday.
No, we can't.
Are you in the show business, too?
Oh, no. I'm just a fan.
But I have never heard music like Frank's.
Us neither.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
I work for Look magazine...
See, now there is a steady, secure job.
I hate it.
Well, maybe that's why they call it "work."
FRANK: Excuse me, Mr. Josephson.
-[GUSSIE GASPS] -Frank Shepard.
Do you remember me?
Our entire cast is overwhelmed, is what they are,
that an important man like you
would actually come down to see our little revue.
Aw. And you recall Shirley Akinola here?
-[CLEARS THROAT] -Now Gussie Carnegie.
She fixed the nose. She fixed the clothes.
She fixed the name.
And take a look at what was underneath all that.
Oh, you. [GIGGLES]
I used to work part-time as his secretary to pay for class.
We've all seen and admired you onstage so much.
-Oh, thank you. -A big talent
wasted in little shows,
up until me.
But you boys, you boys must be doing something right,
because the, uh... fiancée here
is going through one hell of a divorce,
and you boys made her laugh.
-GUSSIE: Joe, Joe, Joe. -[JOE CHUCKLES]
I thought it was just peaches.
Oh, see, us, we're usually light-years better,
but everybody was just, God, so nervous
that the two of you were here.
And it's a pretty nervous night for me anyway.
I'm getting married.
-Is it the girl in the show? -FRANK: Beth.
-Ah... you're awfully young. -[GUSSIE SIGHS]
Marry in haste, repent in Reno.
I'm 23. The guy who does the lyrics, he's my age,
he's got a baby already.
Oh, excuse me, Mr. Josephson.
You remember Charley Kringas from the time
we auditioned for you, my collaborator.
Uh, yes, I collabor him and he collabors me.
-Sorry. -[JOE CLEARS THROAT]
Mazel tov.
Your stuff is getting more commercial,
which is good, because, trust me,
if you're gonna get married, you're gonna need bucks.
[CHUCKLES] But I say,
unless the girl is pregnant, get out of it.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh.
Have a good wedding. [CHUCKLES]
Um, Frank, look, you know...
unless you really want to, you don't have to.
-I want to, Charley. -Okay, great.
Frank, if there's any truth at all
in "we turn out like our parents,"
[CHUCKLES] you are in big trouble.
[FRANK AND MARY LAUGHING]
Mary, do you think I'm making a wrong decision?
Well...
I mean, if you really want to know what I think, Frank...
Frank, don't faint,
but my parents want to speak to us before the ceremony.
Frank...
-I'm not pregnant. -What?
Do you still want us to get married?
Do you?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Before, my reason was the baby.
But now my reason is you.
And my reason is you.
[LAUGHING]
-I am pregnant. -Beth!
I just wanted to be sure.
MRS. SPENCER: Elizabeth!
Oh, God. Mama.
-How do I look? -Elizabeth, your father and I
have one thing we want to say.
Mama, you've said it all for two days.
Elizabeth, the man doesn't even have a job.
My daughter is going back to being a legal secretary
just to support you.
Mama, I told you that in private.
Mrs. Spencer, what I want to do with my life
isn't to play in this club.
I want to write music.
And to be able to do that, I play here.
I accompany singers at auditions.
I play for dance classes. I do arrangements.
I do anything that I can just so I can keep on writing music.
Boy...
we are prepared to give you $2,000 right here, right now.
-Daddy. -MR. SPENCER: Just call
this sorry excuse for a wedding off!
Mr. Spencer, Beth and I are getting married.
We hope that it's with your blessing,
but we are getting married.
Um, the minister just got here.
-Where's Evelyn? -Who's Evelyn?
Oh, the minister, I suppose!
Uh, no, Evelyn is my wife,
and she is way at the back of the room.
See, they often have to stop weddings right in the middle
because of her sobbing.
Which I try not to take personally.
Let's get started.
MRS. SPENCER: Elizabeth.
Here's Grandma's ring.
Thank you, Mama.
[LAUGHS]
Daddy?
Elizabeth.
[WHISPERS] Come here, baby.
[SIGHS]
-[BETH CRYING SOFTLY] -[SNIFFLES]
Oh, honey, it could be worse.
BOTH: At least she's not pregnant.
My dear friends, good evening.
Before the marriage vows,
Frank and Beth have each asked to speak.
Frank?
Beth...
I'm so happy to be marrying you in the very place
where I met you and grew to love you.
Actually, I'm just happy to be marrying you, period.
And I very much would like to thank our dear close friends
for being with us on this,
the most important moment in both of our lives.
MINISTER: Beth?
♪ Not a day goes by ♪
♪ Not a single day ♪
ALL: ♪ But you're somewhere a part of my life ♪
♪ And it looks like you'll stay ♪
♪ As the days go by ♪
♪ I keep thinking ♪
♪ "When does it end?" ♪
♪ That it can't get much better Much longer ♪
♪ But it only gets better and stronger ♪
♪ And deeper and nearer ♪
BOTH: ♪ And simpler and freer ♪
♪ And richer and clearer ♪
ALL: ♪ And no ♪
♪ Not a day goes by ♪
♪ Not a blessed day ♪
♪ But you somewhere come into my life ♪
♪ And you don't go away ♪
♪ And I have to say ♪
♪ If you do, I'll die ♪
♪ I want day after day After day after day after ♪
[CRYING] ♪ I'll die ♪
♪ Day after day after day After day after day ♪
♪ Till the days go by ♪
[VOICE BREAKING] ♪ Till the days go by ♪
[BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYING, SIXTH TRANSITION ]
♪ How does it happen? ♪
♪ Once it was all so clear ♪
♪ How did you get so far off the track? ♪
♪ Why don't you turn around and go back? ♪
♪ How does it happen? ♪
♪ Where is the moment? ♪
♪ When did the road behind disappear? ♪
♪ Where did you let things Slip out of gear? ♪
BOTH: ♪ How did you ever get to be here? ♪
♪ 1959 ♪
♪ 1958 ♪
-[RHYTHMIC TYPING] -[PIANO PLAYING SIMPLE MELODY]
[TYPEWRITER DINGS AND RATTLES RHYTHMICALLY]
[PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES]
[RHYTHMIC TYPING]
-[BANGS PIANO KEYS] -[OPENING DOORS PLAYING]
-How's it going? -Good. You?
-Fair. -Yeah, tell me.
-[PHONE RINGS] -Russian Tea Room.
-Hi. -Mary.
-Say hello. -I think I got a job.
-Where? -True Romances.
-Posing? -Thank you. Writing captions.
-What about the book? -What about the book?
-Nothing. Are you working on the book? -Yes.
-FRANK: Good. -No.
-Mary. -Right. I know. Yes, me and Balzac.
[RHYTHMIC TYPING]
[PIANO PLAYING SIMPLE MELODY]
[RHYTHMIC TYPING]
-[PIANO PLAYING SIMPLE MELODY] -[RHYTHMIC TYPING AND RATTLING]
Ugh.
-[JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING] -[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
♪ I finished the one-act ♪
- ♪ I got an audition ♪ - ♪ I started the story ♪
- ♪ Rehearsal pianist ♪ - ♪ So where are we eating? ♪
- ♪ I'm moving to Playboy ♪ - ♪ The publisher called me ♪
- ♪ I'm doing a rewrite ♪ - ♪ My parents are coming ♪
- ♪ I saw My Fair Lady ♪ - ♪ I rewrote the rewrite ♪
- ♪ I sort of enjoyed it ♪ - ♪ I threw out the story ♪
♪ I'm meeting an agent ♪
ALL: ♪ We'll all get together on Sunday ♪
♪ We're opening doors ♪
♪ Singing, "Here we are" ♪
♪ We're filling up days ♪
♪ On a dime ♪
♪ That faraway shore's Looking not too far ♪
♪ We're following every star ♪
♪ There's not enough time ♪
[WHISTLES TO MUSIC]
- ♪ I called a producer ♪ - ♪ I sent off the one-act ♪
- ♪ I started the story ♪ - ♪ He said to come see him ♪
- ♪ I dropped out of college ♪ - ♪ I met this musician ♪
- ♪ I'm playing a nightclub ♪ - ♪ They're doing my one-act ♪
- ♪ I'm working for Redbook ♪ - ♪ I rewrote the ballad ♪
- ♪ I finished the story ♪ - ♪ We started rehearsal ♪
♪ I threw out the story And then the musician ♪
♪ I'm moving to Popular Science ♪
♪ We're opening doors ♪
♪ Singing, "Look who's here" ♪
♪ Beginning to sail on a dime ♪
♪ That faraway shore's getting very near ♪
♪ We haven't a thing to fear ♪
♪ We haven't got time ♪
[RHYTHMIC TYPING]
[WHISTLES TO MUSIC]
[RHYTHMIC TYPING]
♪ Bum-bum-bu-bum-bum bum-bum ♪
♪ La-da-da-da-da da-dum ♪
-How's it coming? -Good. You?
Done!
-One minute. -[PHONE RINGS]
Hamburg Heaven.
-Hi. -Mary.
-Say hello. -I got another job.
-FRANK: Where? -Chic.
-What's that? -A brand-new concept,
pop-up pictures.
-What about the book? -What about the book?
Did you give the publisher the book?
-Yes. No. -Good. Mary.
-MARY: Look, I never... -Finished!
-Let me call you back. -Right.
-This is just a draft. Probably it stinks. -Right. Right.
Haven't had the time to do a polish.
-Will you sing? -Right.
♪ Who wants to live in New York? ♪
♪ Who wants the worry, the noise The dirt, the heat? ♪
♪ Who wants the garbage cans Clanging in the street? ♪
♪ Suddenly I do ♪
♪ They're always popping their cork ♪
♪ I'll fix that line ♪
♪ The cops, the cabbies The salesgirls up at Saks ♪
♪ You gotta have a real taste For maniacs ♪
- ♪ Suddenly I do ♪ -[JOE SCOFFS]
♪ That's great, that's swell ♪
♪ The other stuff as well ♪
♪ It isn't every day You hear a score this strong ♪
♪ But, fellas, if I may There's only one thing wrong ♪
♪ It's not a tune you can hum ♪
♪ It's not a tune you go Bum-bum-bum-di-dum ♪
♪ You need a tune you go Bum-bum-bum-di-dum ♪
♪ Give me a melody ♪
♪ Why can't you throw 'em a crumb? ♪
♪ What's wrong with letting 'em Tap their toes a bit? ♪
♪ I'll let you know When Stravinsky has a hit ♪
♪ Give me a melody ♪
♪ Oh, sure, I know ♪
♪ It's not that kind of show ♪
♪ But can't you have a score That's sort of in-between? ♪
♪ Look, play a little more I'll show you what I mean ♪
♪ Who wants to live in New York? ♪
♪ I always hated the dirt The heat, the noise ♪
♪ But ever since I met you, I... ♪
♪ Listen, boys, maybe it's me ♪
♪ But that's just not a ♪
♪ Hum-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mable melody! ♪
♪ Write more, work hard Leave your name with the girl ♪
♪ Less avant-garde ♪
♪ Leave your name with the girl ♪
♪ Just write a plain old Melodee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee ♪
[LAUGHS]
♪ A-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee ♪
[JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ They're stopping rehearsal They ran out of money ♪
♪ We lasted one issue My book was rejected ♪
♪ The nightclub was raided I had to start coaching ♪
- ♪ My parents are coming ♪ - ♪ I screwed up the laundry ♪
- ♪ My wallet was stolen ♪ - ♪ I saw the musician ♪
- ♪ We're being evicted ♪ - ♪ I'm having a breakdown ♪
♪ We'll all get together on Sunday ♪
♪ They're slamming the doors ♪
♪ Singing, "Go away" ♪
♪ It's less of a sail than a climb ♪
♪ That faraway shore's farther every day ♪
♪ We're learning to ricochet ♪
♪ We still have a lot to say ♪
♪ You know what we'll do? ♪
What?
♪ We'll do a revue ♪
-CHARLEY: What? -What?
♪ We'll do a revue of our own ♪
-What? -Where?
-Why? -CHARLEY: When?
Not just songs but stories, scenes,
-piano pieces, mime! -Yeah.
"Frankly Frank!"
♪ A showcase of our own ♪
-Where? -The club's reopening.
-We'll write a lot of new stuff. -Rewrite old stuff.
-What about the girl? -What about the girl?
Only that we're gonna need a girl.
-Well, Mary. -Thanks.
[IN POSH ACCENT] I don't perform except at dinner.
[IN SHRILL VOICE] ♪ Who wants to live in New York? ♪
♪ Who wants the worry, the noise The dirt, the heat? ♪
♪ Who wants the garbage cans clanging? ♪
-Next! -I can sing higher!
[PIANO PLAYING LIGHT MUSIC]
♪ Who wants to live in New York? ♪
♪ Who wants to live... ♪
Thank you for coming!
♪ They're always popping their cork ♪
Up a tone.
♪ The cops, the cabbies The salesgirls up at Saks ♪
Up a tone.
♪ You gotta have a real taste For maniacs ♪
Thank you! You're hired!
-[EXCLAIMS] ♪ I'm Beth ♪ - ♪ I'm Frank ♪
♪ I really thought I stank ♪
- ♪ I'm Mary ♪ - ♪ Charley ♪
♪ By the way, I'm told we open Saturday ♪
- ♪ What? You're not serious ♪ - ♪ Nobody's ready ♪
♪ Apparently, somebody canceled A booking ♪
- ♪ The songs aren't finished ♪ - ♪ And what about costumes? ♪
♪ And how do I learn all these numbers? ♪
♪ I'll bring you the copies of everything ♪
- ♪ Later this evening ♪ - ♪ Not to mention I still haven't finished ♪
♪ Okay, but I'll have to Have all of the music ♪
[RAPID OVERLAPPING SINGING]
ALL: ♪ We'll worry about it on Sunday ♪
♪ We're opening doors ♪
♪ Singing, "Here we are" ♪
♪ We're filling up days on a dime ♪
♪ That faraway shore's looking not too far ♪
♪ We're following every star ♪
♪ There's not enough time ♪
♪ We're banging on doors ♪
♪ Shouting, "Here again" ♪
♪ We're risking it all on a dime ♪
♪ That faraway shore's looking near again ♪
♪ The only thing left is when ♪
♪ We know we should count to ten ♪
♪ We haven't got time ♪
-[SONG ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[CHUCKLING]
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING, SEVENTH TRANSITION ]
GROUP: ♪ Bending with the road ♪
♪ Gliding through the countryside ♪
♪ Merrily we roll along, roll along ♪
♪ Catching at dreams ♪
♪ Dreams that will explode ♪
♪ Waking up the countryside ♪
GROUP: ♪ Everybody merrily, merrily ♪
♪ Sing 'em your song ♪
♪ Rolling along ♪
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, hey. Hey, what are you doing up on the roof?
I don't know. I just came up here.
Well, you could have told a person.
-You were asleep. -Yeah, the alarm just went off.
-You see anything? -Mmm-mmm.
-Is something wrong? -[CHUCKLES] No.
What are you doing up here so early?
I couldn't sleep.
Charley... I read your two plays last night.
They were so wonderful, I couldn't sleep.
-I thought you were mad. -[CHUCKLES]
I have to tell everyone who stays over
to always wake me whenever you think I'm wonderful.
[FRANK CHUCKLES]
I tossed and turned.
I kept thinking about wasting
these last two years in the Army,
then to come back and read your plays...
"Wasting"?
What about that music you played for me?
-Talk about wonderful. -What?
Really?
Yes.
Yeah, Frank, you... you don't just write what you know.
You write what you know.
Okay.
This play, Pretty Politics, about the Senate pages.
What do you think about making it into a musical?
-Go on. -I've got a better title.
Take a Left.
That's a better title?
[LAUGHS]
I think it's important.
-Musicals are popular. -[ OUR TIME PLAYING]
They're a great way to state important ideas,
ideas that could really make a difference.
Charley, we can change the world.
[CHUCKLES]
♪ Something is stirring, shifting ground ♪
♪ It's just begun ♪
♪ Edges are blurring all around ♪
♪ And yesterday is done ♪
♪ Feel the flow ♪
♪ Hear what's happening ♪
- ♪ We're what's happening ♪ -[CHUCKLES]
♪ Don't you know? ♪
♪ We're the movers and we're the shapers ♪
♪ We're the names ♪
- ♪ In tomorrow's papers ♪ -[CHUCKLES]
♪ Up to us, man, to show 'em ♪
♪ It's our time ♪
♪ Breathe it in ♪
♪ Worlds to change and worlds to win ♪
♪ Our turn coming through ♪
♪ Me and you, man ♪
♪ Me and you ♪
-Uh, uh. -Hi.
Uh, we just wanted to see, my roommate and... I. [CHUCKLES]
Excuse me.
She's probably from Barnard.
Barnard girls are dippy.
[BOTH LAUGH]
-Do you have the time? -Uh, yep.
Uh, quarter to 6:00.
Do you ever think about getting married?
No.
Me neither.
But when I'm a lot older, maybe.
♪ Feel how it quivers on the brink ♪
What?
♪ Everything ♪
♪ Gives you the shivers ♪
♪ Makes you think ♪
♪ There's so much stuff to sing ♪
♪ And you and me ♪
♪ We'll be singing it like the birds ♪
[CHUCKLES] ♪ Me with music ♪
♪ And you the words ♪
♪ Tell 'em things they don't know ♪
♪ Up to us, pal, to show 'em ♪
BOTH: ♪ Our time, breathe it in ♪
♪ Worlds to change and worlds to win ♪
♪ Our turn, we're what's new ♪
♪ Me and you, pal, me and you ♪
- ♪ Feel the flow ♪ - ♪ Feel the flow ♪
♪ Hear what's happening ♪
♪ We're what's happening ♪
♪ Long ago ♪
♪ All we had was that funny feeling ♪
♪ Saying someday we'd send 'em reeling ♪
♪ Now it looks like we can ♪
♪ Someday just began ♪
♪ It's our heads on the block ♪
♪ Give us room and start the clock ♪
♪ Our time coming through ♪
♪ Me and you, pal, me and you ♪
♪ Me and you ♪
I didn't mean to be so overdressed before.
-[LAUGHS] -Am I too late?
No, I think it's just about now.
Oh, my roommate's coming up, too.
Oh, I'm Charley Kringas. This is Frank Shepard.
-Mary Flynn. Hi. -Hi.
-Um, we just took the apartment
-on five. -Oh, I'm not officially moved in
until I'm discharged from the Army next week.
Frank just got a weekend pass to help us move in.
-Um, a lot to move in. -[MUSIC FADES]
A typewriter, two mattresses and a piano.
Are you the one playing the piano the last two days?
-We're evicted. -Oh, no.
You are wonderful.
I mean, sincerely wonderful.
I'm sincerely grateful.
Yeah, I even came up on the roof so I could hear you better.
[LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]
[SIGHS] I tell everything,
then go home and suffer.
[CHUCKLES] So, are you sincerely wonderful, too?
-I write. -He is.
Aw.
Me, Columbia. Him, Juilliard.
Well, that's what I want to do, write.
But how does anyone compose music, though?
I mean, to me, that is the gift of gifts.
I just met the girl I ought to marry.
Did anybody ever tell you you say all the right things?
Never.
[LAUGHS]
Well, but I... I really want to know.
Well, writing music is not about words.
It's about sounds and feelings.
And, to me, music is about everything. [LAUGHS]
Well, anyway, it's so creative.
If I didn't have music, I'd die.
Someday, Frank is gonna be a very important composer.
He is?
I think you already are.
Mary? Are you up here?
Oh.
You're with guys.
-[SHRIEKING] Oh, no! -[CHUCKLES]
MARY: Evelyn.
Evelyn.
[CHUCKLES]
That was Evelyn.
Oh! [STAMMERS]
We should probably look now. It's supposed to be right now.
-FRANK: See anything? -God, I hope we didn't miss it.
It should come right over.
-Oh, yeah, there. There it is. -[GASPS] Yeah, I see it.
-Where? -There it is. There.
It's just phenomenal.
It's phenomenal.
Do you call it Sputnik or "Spootnik"? [VOICE CRACKS]
Mmm. Call it a miracle.
God.
We got to be the luckiest people who ever lived.
After this moment,
this moment that the three of us are sharing here together,
nothing is ever gonna be the way that it was, not ever again!
Do you guys realize that now
we're gonna be able to do anything?
I mean, anything we ever dreamed of.
What a time to be starting out.
What a time to be alive.
♪ Something is stirring, shifting ground ♪
♪ It's just begun ♪
♪ Edges are blurring all around ♪
♪ And yesterday is done ♪
♪ Feel the flow, hear what's happening ♪
♪ We're what's happening ♪
♪ Don't you know? ♪
♪ We're the movers and we're the shapers ♪
♪ We're the names in tomorrow's papers ♪
♪ Up to us now to show 'em ♪
[EXHALING PLAYFULLY]
ALL: ♪ It's our time, breathe it in ♪
♪ Worlds to change and worlds to win ♪
♪ Our turn coming through ♪
♪ Me and you, pal, me and you ♪
♪ Years from now, we'll remember ♪
♪ And we'll come back ♪
♪ Buy the rooftop and hang a plaque ♪
♪ "This is where we began ♪
♪ "Being what we can" ♪
♪ It's our heads on the block ♪
♪ Give us room and start the clock ♪
♪ Our dreams coming true ♪
♪ Me and you, pal, me and you ♪
GROUP: ♪ Me and you ♪
♪ Me and you, me and you ♪
♪ Me and you ♪
♪ Me and you, me and you ♪
♪ Me and ♪
♪ You ♪
[SONG ENDS]
[GENTLE, HOPEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
-[MUSIC ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
-[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING] -[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
-[MUSIC ENDS] -[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC ENDS]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
[CHEERING FADES]